Recent content by Fleshlight-UK

Hope you’re feeling brighter x

Orgasm often with me

Champagne Pain

Yup many litres of water today already, thanks :)

Don’t know where you are up / Europe, but exactly this. Wine to get a glass of wine to celebrate at lunch, hit me like a wall of lava, door shut and I retreated back inside. This is not pleasant at all!

They made their choice, they lost both in the queue and with a lack of class. You won with both, their language was not necessary. These shoppers are the type to park in disabled bays too. If you cannot count the items in your basket, perhaps you should be accompanied when shopping. Or you are...

I have no time for people like that, well done you for saying what needed to be said. At Xmas I was let in with my 6 bottles of champagne behind a couple who’d done their entire festive shop with a calculator and seen them put some sherry and whisky down as they were over budget right at the...

Oooh and I can sneak back around at the back again, so to speak!

Duck off :p it should not be editing my language. Nokia phones (remember them!) used to edit the C word to Aunt. Close but not quite. Have I mentioned this fuck awful heat yet?

I fucking hate autocorrect. How has my phone still not learned that I say FUCK more than DUCK, but tries to change it every time.??

how did you teach them to use the pedals and the steering wheel? :p

Would be fun!

Yes, with a reach around. Just kidding, nah!

Have I mentioned saying fuck due to the heatwave? :D When it’s this warm, I expect a lovely person to be bring me perfectly mixed cocktails every 20 mins until I pass out.

I’d even put up with this heat to say yes!