Welcome, Ehri, (although I fear your claim to originate from planet IKEA is a bit shaky, as there's are not 4 consecutive consonants in your name).
I'd love to assemble you according to your pictorial instructions, please pm them to me and I can get screwing straight away!
I must admit that when I discovered the Mature Chat category I had hoped for just that - less frantic scrolling of messages, and perhaps a more focused chatroom. What I have found is a high level of 'in' jokes between regular users, it seems very clique-y, and not a particularly welcoming chat...
Agree with Lakeside's comment. However...
Like most guys, I'm turned on by the sight of two women screwing, and would love to provide the meat for a girl-girl sandwich. (I could probably also provide the mayo!)