Poll Is it a red flag for a guy to not have a sister and/or not be close with their mother?

Is it a red flag for a guy to not have a sister and/or not be close with their mother?

  • Yes, it's a red flag if they don't have a sister

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes, it's a red flag if they are not close with their mother

    Votes: 2 20.0%

  • Yes it's a red flag, but only if both.

    Votes: 1 10.0%

  • No, neither are red flags

    Votes: 7 70.0%
  • Total voters
    10
  • Poll closed .
IAcceptCookies

IAcceptCookies

Active Member
FCN Regular
I was having a conversation with my brother and I realized that all of my acquaintances who I don't feel like I would feel safe around if I were a woman don't have sisters and/or aren't close with their mothers. Is this just small sample size or is this actually a thing? Women, please sound off. I'm really curious.
 
The red flag is that you think they would do harm to a female. I know lots of males who don’t have female siblings and aren’t especially close to their moms. With none of them have I thought I don’t feel safe around you.
Sounds to me like you need to reassess who you are hanging out with. Or confront them on what ever the behaviour is that they are showing that makes you feel that way.
 
Lil_wonders said:
The red flag is that you think they would do harm to a female. I know lots of males who don’t have female siblings and aren’t especially close to their moms. With none of them have I thought I don’t feel safe around you.
Sounds to me like you need to reassess who you are hanging out with. Or confront them on what ever the behaviour is that they are showing that makes you feel that way.
Click to expand...
They are acquaintances, not my friends. The reason I feel that way about them is because many of the ones I know have made my sister or friends of mine uncomfortable making inappropriate advances or they have made other comments and I've talked to them and tried to help them understand, but they can't put themselves in their shoes. That's the case for most of the people I thought of.
Both of my sisters were assaulted at different times by men who didn't have sisters.

I may I have gotten unlucky with the guys I've met and I probably worded the question wrong. That's why I asked. I'm glad that you haven't had the same experience.
For the record, I don't hang out with guys who I feel like would ever harm a woman or generally anyone unless they are protecting someone. That's not who I choose to surround myself with. It's just the people I've run into in my life.

Sorry it's super late, but I wanted to try to explain. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
 
I voted no. Having a sister isn’t something a person chooses, and being distant from a parent can happen for a lot of reasons. I can understand why the OP noticed a pattern based on personal experience, but I think character, empathy, and respect are much stronger indicators than whether someone grew up with sisters or had a close relationship with their mother.
 
You will learn in life that you have to be careful how you make associations from facts. You are trying to make a judgement on correlation that will make it easy for you to exclude and feel safer in the world. The reality is that what you are going to do with that is make judgments on people based upon things about them, surrounding them, rather than based on who they are. It is safer to just judge on who someone likely is from afar, but you will meet fewer people, and you will actually misjudge someone who has a sister and mom he is close to, who is still an asshole.

I had a mom. And a sister. But I was abandoned by my dad and that leaves scars. Life is not so simple. Red flags are what you look for in getting to know someone, not in things to look for to avoid getting to know someone.
 
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Also, remember that you are looking for someone who is good for YOU. And you are good for them. In my case, I am in general not good for women. I relate better to women than men, and have always had more women friends, due to my mom and sister. But I am also lost as a man and not good for most women because I never learned how to be who I need to be from a man, and I have certain brokenness from that. Just maybe the right kind of woman would be good for me and me for her, but that can be hard to find.

Everyone has their own story and baggage. The right mix of two people is hard to find, and it is never perfect. But it is really like they say in movies…when it is right, you just know.

So don’t be fast to exclude or include. You have a lifetime ahead of you.
 
I appreciate the thoughtful responses. I agree with practically everything said. I had a thought and it wasn't necessarily to ask about, especially when sleep deprived. It's not that I am judging who I interact with based on that. It's just a pattern in my life and I was curious. Have a good one everyone.
 
I sure hope it's not.

I am not close to my sister or mother. In fact that last time I saw my mother was 2001 when I was introduced to her by my grandmother (dad's mom). It was a very awkward moment.
 
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