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how are we to ever tell?

I didn't get drunk often

i can't really tell the difference . maybe you should drink more?

You drink more

i drink enough... three fingers of Glenmorangie in the evening.... a dram with my tea or coffee in the morning... and possibly a pint with my stew (when i've made stew)

and then there's the rum rations to maintain discipline / morale

You stinky drunk

tsk tsk tsk thou art an uncouth whelp.... you obviously could use a wee dram of libations.... put you in a better mood....

Maybe

only one way to find out

*knocks all your rum over board*

"why.... did.... but... you.... what... ugh... ah.... oh... uh... why is the rum gone?" ~looks at you with murderous intent~

It just fell

mmm all falls from grace are egregious

Lol