So I've had this happen a few times since joining the chat. Not here to call out names, but hey if your reading this and you talked to me before and the shoe fits then well you know who you are. 1. For some context before I ever willing offer to listen to someone's problems I make it very clear I am not single and that I'm only willing to talk for what is need. Whether that be just the Ear to listen, the shoulder to cry on or the one with experience to give advice. 2. I recently had an issue that blew up in a chat room where someone that was attention seeking by saying they were sad/angry/felt alone/etc. . At this point I offered to listen to these problems. After hearing a bit of the problems I offered a small solutions to start working on what was bothering them to which I was hit on. Reminding this person I was happily taken was not well received. To which caused a huge scene in the chat for the next few days where this person has repeated told people to go off themselves and blaming others for their loneliness. I find this hard to understand to be honest. 3. Another situation arose when talking with another person who I thought was a friend and once the conversation started to turn in a sexual manner. I again had to remind someone that I'm happily taken to which I have been completely ignored sense. Main thing I want to know is why its so hard to find people to just talk to when you need it and not have it fall out just because of commitments. You can be friends with people just to be friends.
Ive had something similar with just not being interested in them sexually. I think allot of people that come here think it's an easy fix to loneliness, sexual urges, social needs ect and when those are eventually denied to them (even respectfully) it hits their ego bc they're used to getting what they "need" from this site. Either that or they're literal home wreckers. Don't take it personally Hun. Everyone's a little damaged. All you can do is what you've been doing, empathizing your limits and sticking to them.
Thankfully I haven't had to deal with any homewrecker types yet but the throwing a tantrum over not getting what they want I have had the pleasure of dealing with a few times so far
I think you're letting people walk all over you and use you for things that will never be reciprocated back to you. It can be a dangerous game. You're not anyone's chat therapist. You don't have to listen to people's problems and let them take away energy that you (don't) have. I think society has gravitated towards instant gratification and if they can't get it with you, they find someone/something who will. I think it's easy to find a person to emotionally dump on them, then be sexual with them because they listened to you and you at least cared. At the end of the day, you're offering to listen to them because you're empathetic, compassionate, and care. But don't let people use you. Even if you can't offer anyone a relationship sexually/emotionally. You're being nicer than most. People will take anything and everything you have, and it's not a comment on sexual/relationship things. Maybe step back and enjoy chatting with your friends or finding ways to entertain yourself that don't involve breaking off pieces of yourself to everyone who has problems. Also wanted to say. I don't think anyone wants solutions. Nobody wants practical advice. I give advice when I feel like I can. At the end of the day nobody wants real advice, they want a shoulder to cry on, an echo chamber, or they want validation for their issues. They don't want to fix their situation, they want you to validate their awful choices. You don't need to be giving your time and energy to people who 1. don't respect you 2. don't respect your replies/advice/opinions 3. just want you sexually/relationships wise because they feel comfortable with you. This place is easy to get validation from. It's easy to find someone whos into you, or things you're into. It is a fix for loneliness. But it's temporary, and the need for instant satisfaction keeps growing. If you have a vagina or even elude to having a vagina it's easy to find anyone who suits your fancy. But it doesn't really fix your emotions and problems, it doesn't really address anything. It can help in some situations. It soothes your desire and the need for instant gratification. If you want to tell your story to some anonymous stranger, then it makes sense. Chat is a wonderful platform for socializing. As an immunocompromised person for 2 years who really had no socializing beyond chat. It was very helpful. Don't let people drain your emotional energy and take things from you. I offer my advice and opinions only to those who respect it. I'm not here to convince them to see my position. I'm not here to validate bad choices and fetishes. Maybe everyone could benefit from stopping talking to those who offer nothing reciprocal back to you. As an ex people pleaser, it took me a long time to learn the word: "No" and "Sorry but this is emotionally too much for me and you should probably find someone who is equipped to talk to you" you'll make more enemies and lose more "friends", but were you really their friend if they didn't do something for you? They should listen to your advice. Let you tell your problems back to them. Not disrespect your relationship. If people are bringing it into drama and main chat and bad-mouthing you everywhere, why should you even try to help them? Leeches will be leeches. Protect yourself first.
