S
Sarah_56
Guest
I have not had much extramarital sex.
I have had some, but having been married 36 years not such a lot, considering.
The fact that I have to pause to count would once have shamed me, but I am older, and wiser at least to my own failings. Leaving aside my disastrous affair (which in truth only doubles the total) I have, on my count, had extramarital sex six times in 36 years, and with only eight men (don't ask..). Having left aside the affair, on reflection the odd thing - two odd things in fact - is that, first, I do not think I have ever declined extramarital sex - although the 'opportunities' have been rare, in no case when it has arisen have I hesitated: and second, that I never 'slept' with any of them, nor even stayed with them more than an hour, or ever repeated the experience. I do not know what those things say about me: I do know that I am, and have been since I was born, 'odd' - socially awkward though eventually clever and funny, so able to conceal and even overcome it; and reckless, naive, but again that eventually overlain with a learned caution and reserve.
I don't know, either, why I share this: perhaps simply my habit of introspection; perhaps a desire for catharsis, to clear the air, to admit and confess and accept; or perhaps less flatteringly a selfish desire for attention. But here it is, a confession, of sorts.
I have had some, but having been married 36 years not such a lot, considering.
The fact that I have to pause to count would once have shamed me, but I am older, and wiser at least to my own failings. Leaving aside my disastrous affair (which in truth only doubles the total) I have, on my count, had extramarital sex six times in 36 years, and with only eight men (don't ask..). Having left aside the affair, on reflection the odd thing - two odd things in fact - is that, first, I do not think I have ever declined extramarital sex - although the 'opportunities' have been rare, in no case when it has arisen have I hesitated: and second, that I never 'slept' with any of them, nor even stayed with them more than an hour, or ever repeated the experience. I do not know what those things say about me: I do know that I am, and have been since I was born, 'odd' - socially awkward though eventually clever and funny, so able to conceal and even overcome it; and reckless, naive, but again that eventually overlain with a learned caution and reserve.
I don't know, either, why I share this: perhaps simply my habit of introspection; perhaps a desire for catharsis, to clear the air, to admit and confess and accept; or perhaps less flatteringly a selfish desire for attention. But here it is, a confession, of sorts.
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