mature bi male dealing with unwanted touching when younger...

Discussion in 'Community' started by bisubhub, Sep 21, 2018.

  1. bisubhub

    bisubhub New Member

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    I cant' call it "abuse" -- I don't think -- because I became sexually aroused, but when I was 17-18 an older man began touching me, groping me even, and this eventually led to repeated sexual encounters. I see now I'm older that he was in total control and used me. He convinced me I was 'gay' and wanted it. I have lived with guilt and confusion, and finally decided that I'm 'bi' now...although I'm married.

    Chat, comments, similar experiences welcome.
     
  2. BearDadNJ

    BearDadNJ Member

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    Sounds like it was abuse if he was in control. I had an older man do somewhat the same thing, but for me deep down I seemed to know I wanted it. I kept going back for more. It aroused me and I enjoyed it, but never had any doubts or confusion. But with the times, also dated and over the years found fun and comfort from both men and women. Married and bi here.
     
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  3. bisubhub

    bisubhub New Member

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    thanks for the reply, BearDad.
    yeah, same here: I felt this desire to satisfy him and enjoyed pleasing him and was very afraid of displeasing him. Saw him for about 2 months. My parents were going through a rough divorce at the time, so it was a tough time. Now it just feels like he used me. At the time, I was infatuated with this approval. I began to enjoy it, and when I started to cum while he fucked me, I decided to end my relationship with my girlfriend, who had no idea. Strange mixture of shame and pleasure.

    The thing I found out is that it is very hard to live in both worlds: there's a straight world and there's a (much, much smaller) gay world; never found a "bi world." So I live straight but have something of a double life. Does your wife know? And do you fuck men?
     
  4. BearDadNJ

    BearDadNJ Member

    Money:
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    My pleasure bisubhub. No she doesn't know, nor do most people. I can totally understand what you mean by two different worlds. It can be a strain. For me, it seems to work out alright so I never have a problem doing the double life. I am a top guy here so yes I do fuck men.
     
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  5. Ricky9

    Ricky9 New Member

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    Mine was as a young kid ... he was three years older than me, and he used to jack off in front of me all the time ... I was so jealous because he could cum and I was still too young but it still felt good to me and I loved the feel of his hard cock in my hand when he got me to jack him off until he would shoot his load out all over my fingers and I would lick it off ...
    We used to strip off in an old cubby house that we built and touch each other, but he always made me feel special ... one day, he invited me to his house ... there was nobody else home ... we were in his room, looking at porn mags and we stripped off as usual, and he got me to lie on his bed on my stomach ... before I knew it, he was fucking me ... no lube, no foreplay ... just wham ... all the way into my yng virgin ass ... it hurt like hell, but I went back lots of times afterwards for more of the same ... he fucked me at least twice a week for almost two years before we had to stop because I moved away ... I was 11 then.
    I missed him heaps, but he got me started on a lifelong path now of bisexuality ...
     
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  6. bisubhub

    bisubhub New Member

    Money:
    115⛀

    Thanks for sharing, Ricky9!
    Did you start cumming when he fucked you, or get hard? I remember getting lots of hard ons around that age, and probably cumming too....long time ago, LOL! He always cum up your ass? How did he treat you after he was finished?
    It's funny that pain/pleasure thing. I didn't want sex with him, but I couldn't help but get hard when he touched me. Even when he started fingering me...I would get hard. It did hurt when he fucked me, and I lost my erection, even though I was well lubed. God why did I still want it after that!?! That first time, he came up my ass -- and I took it, cried a little. And I said I was straight but I had to jerk off in the car on the way home!! I went back for 2 months but then he dumped me. I started cumming while he fucked me....it was so intense. Obviously I'm bi but only now accepting it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2018

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