Hello all. I'm currently downing a bottle of wine to myself and I'm bored. So entertain me please by any drunk stories you have. Thanks in advance x
One time, in my Army days, I got so drunk that I left a barracks party to go to my room at about 4am, fell asleep outside my door, KEY IN THE KNOB, woke up 5 minutes before PT time (an hour-ish later) and went on a 5 mile run. Wooot!
We once went camping in the campgrounds woods by the beach, it rained like Hell after midnight for a few hours, we were all drunk af, half naked, dancing, etc. Alcohol was illegal. We... Earlier in the day, we met "ranger Bob" while on the way back from the beach. Ranger Bob advised us that we cannot have a campfire, since it was too hot and too dry. ...had a FUCKING MASSIVE CAMPFIRE in the middle of the woods (must have been over 10ft high), while the torrential downpour was doing its damage in the middle of the night. Few of us noticed ranger Bob between some trees, probably 100 feet back while we were having our party. He never approached us and acted a bit weird in the morning when we ran into him—didn't mention a thing.
Another time, we went camping downstate in the middle of winter (it was 22F overnight). We burned massive pentagram circles into the campgrounds. Made a lot of noise. Pulled railroad ties marking parking spots out of the ground and used few of them for our campfire (two wooden park benches suffered the same fate). I almost set the woods afire while fueling the campfire with gasoline straight from that gasoline container (my sleeve caught fire and my reflexes threw the container, which rolled down in a flaming ball, leaving behind a river of fire). No, we weren't anywhere close to sober. Women's minimum security prison was adjacent to the camping grounds. We got lucky af that no one noticed us.
It was the weekend and he probably didn't want to deal with ten people going to jail, putting out the fire, etc... The downpour was insane and I still don't understand how the fire kept going.
What is the meaning of Murica? It's mocking the stereotypical hillbilly or redneck American patriot who, due to their accent (right word?) pronounces "America" as "'Murica." It's usually said when something about America is mentioned, whether it's good or bad."
It's typically uttered when Americans are engaging into American things—however absurd—freedom af, in this case. Where else can you conduct yourself that way and not instantly go to jail?
I've hardly had a drink in the last 25 years. My working life was as a professional truck driver. When you work 6 1/2 days a week and know your blood alcohol content must be zero by law and with heavy penalties and fines, you just can't take the risk and as such, I lost the taste for it. I might have a champagne at a celebration or a single glass of wine with dinner but that's it. Old saying 'Alcohol giveth the desire but removeth the ability.'
Aftet football when i was younger had a few then tried racing shopping trolleys down a dry ski slope. Needless to say it ended with a trip to a&e.
I once when I was in my Twenties got completely wasted at a club after me and the girlfriend at the time broke up at the club. Came to the next morning on the floor by my bed. Checked to make sure I had my wallet and found to citations. One for drunk and disorderly the other for pissing in public. Had no idea how I got them. Had to call the police station and find out why
Once got so drunk woke up alone in my own bed wearing nothing but a pair of mens jocks lol. Went out the next night a guy came up to me and said 'Hi remember me? Me: um nope ? Him: you wore my jocks home haha oh shame lol lucky he was cute ps. I was 18 and dont drink like that anymore x
Went water sking at night we all were pissed as farts so we pinched a large banana loaded it up and got a psycho girl drive the boat. It spent most of the trip flying with us hanging for our lives. Eventually the rope snapped and we went flying. Luckily we all got back and dumped the banana but couldn't find Charlotte, she disappeared. We called police and coast gaurd. 4 hours later they found the boat up the bank in thick reeds. She hit it about 60mph and knocked her self out. Boat was wrecked.
Another time i was really tired and heading to bed but a guy i was seeing turned up with a bottle of rum. So of course i drank we went to pub (bar) got shitfaced lol and apparently got into bed naked and told him not to touch me haha and he was a good boy and cuddled up to me and slept haha x
