Lakeside: Welcome to FCN Media, COVID. I’d like to thank you from all of us for agreeing to this.
COVID: It’s my pleasure, Lake. I may call you Lake, yes?
Lakeside: Yes, by all means, everyone calls me that. So, the big question all the readers want to know is why?
COVID: Why am I doing this? Well, it does happen to be the Chinese year of the microbe. I’m just doing my part.
Lakeside: That explains many things, COVID. There is trouble and unrest everywhere, people can’t agree what is best; no one trusts anyone anymore; what do you say to that?
COVID: Look, I’m just a simple down-to earth infectious disease. My task is to cause all that mayhem and distrust, not to care about it. Lake, this is what we pandemics do,. It’s our reason to exist. Look at all the positives to come out of this. Look how much extra funding medical research is getting - sky-high. Look at the air pollution levels - rock-bottom. Alright, I admit domestic violence is rising but violent crime levels are down. It all depends on a person’s point of view.
Lakeside: Or a virus’s point of view, I agree. So, there are those who claim freedoms and civil rights accorded by law and being infringed. How do you respond to that.
COVID: Lake, I’m a virus. I can’t read things like laws or constitutions. Those sorts of things are written for humans and not for infectious diseases. My job is to infect and the only right that concerns me is the right to have common sense. I’ve never been able to infect anyone who possesses it and its starting to annoy me.
Lakeside: So, what happens when a virus gets annoyed?
COVID: I was thinking of booking into one of those unhealthy spas, and work on self-improving. I could just relax, soak up a few toxic chemicals, absorb some harmful radiation, look for the right chemistry to make a better me and I’ll release The Pandemic: Season 2, Episode 1 in a few years. So mark that one down in your calendars, kiddies. This is one you’ll really want to miss.
Lakeside: I am sure all our readers are thankful for your honesty, COVID. It’s been a pleasure talking with you. I’d love to be able to wish you good luck, but that would be an oxymoron, wouldn’t it? This is Lakeside, Signing off for FCN Media (inc.)
Ls x
COVID: It’s my pleasure, Lake. I may call you Lake, yes?
Lakeside: Yes, by all means, everyone calls me that. So, the big question all the readers want to know is why?
COVID: Why am I doing this? Well, it does happen to be the Chinese year of the microbe. I’m just doing my part.
Lakeside: That explains many things, COVID. There is trouble and unrest everywhere, people can’t agree what is best; no one trusts anyone anymore; what do you say to that?
COVID: Look, I’m just a simple down-to earth infectious disease. My task is to cause all that mayhem and distrust, not to care about it. Lake, this is what we pandemics do,. It’s our reason to exist. Look at all the positives to come out of this. Look how much extra funding medical research is getting - sky-high. Look at the air pollution levels - rock-bottom. Alright, I admit domestic violence is rising but violent crime levels are down. It all depends on a person’s point of view.
Lakeside: Or a virus’s point of view, I agree. So, there are those who claim freedoms and civil rights accorded by law and being infringed. How do you respond to that.
COVID: Lake, I’m a virus. I can’t read things like laws or constitutions. Those sorts of things are written for humans and not for infectious diseases. My job is to infect and the only right that concerns me is the right to have common sense. I’ve never been able to infect anyone who possesses it and its starting to annoy me.
Lakeside: So, what happens when a virus gets annoyed?
COVID: I was thinking of booking into one of those unhealthy spas, and work on self-improving. I could just relax, soak up a few toxic chemicals, absorb some harmful radiation, look for the right chemistry to make a better me and I’ll release The Pandemic: Season 2, Episode 1 in a few years. So mark that one down in your calendars, kiddies. This is one you’ll really want to miss.
Lakeside: I am sure all our readers are thankful for your honesty, COVID. It’s been a pleasure talking with you. I’d love to be able to wish you good luck, but that would be an oxymoron, wouldn’t it? This is Lakeside, Signing off for FCN Media (inc.)
Ls x
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