Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 foot ladder. Thank God I was on the third step.
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I asked the bus driver "How long will the next bus be?" He replied "Same length as this one."
Did you know that the shovel was literally a groundbreaking invention.
A chicken and an egg walk into a bar. The barman says, "Who's first?"
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
I bought a book titled "How To Scam People Online" about three months ago... It still hasn't arrived.
My friend says he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
Our local auctioneer passed away. He was somewhere around 70? 75? 75? 80.
I went to the doctor today, and he told me I was going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear.
I saw a titled “How to Solve Half Your Problems” I bought two.
I bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank; I have no words for how angry I am.
I wonder if You can make a water-bed more bouncy by using spring water?
I had a date last night and it was amazing. Tomorrow I’ll try a fig.
What starts with W and ends with T. No, really, it does.
The rooster saw a bunch of brightly colored Easter eggs. He said when I catch him, I’m going to beat the hell out of that peacock.
I always knock on the fridge before I open it. Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
My grandfather screamed and shouted about the titanic and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.
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