The other night in bed, I tried to read the entire dictionary but couldn’t finish, I got up to P
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Did you know men have three knees.. Right knee, left knee, and weenie
I didn’t sleep well last night. I think my memory foam mattress has amnesia.
Last week my Doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
I just found out that AAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH isn’t a real word. I can’t tell you how angry I am.
A pair of jumper cables went out for a drink. The bartender said, “You can stay, but don’t start anything!”
What gives you butterflies every single time, no matter how many times you experience it?.. Buying caterpillars.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
In other news: The sexual position known as 69 will now be called 96, Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has gone up.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? "Beef Jerky”
I got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the icu.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent
I applied for a job hanging mirrors. It's something I can see myself doing
I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his gun back in his pocket.
A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the Alphabet was. It was a complete guess, but I was right.
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9, but never has 5.
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