they say laughter is the best medicine, but i personally believe it is chemicals and privilege
-
Hey
Not seen you around, hope this is because you are sipping
on Copacabana Beach or something.
P.S If so, I could do with a new pair of Havaianas
i didn't want to be like everybody else so i tried putting my pants on two legs at a time and hence that explains the bandage on my head and my newly-discovered affinity for kilts
mfer i'm bringing sombreros back
yes, i would like to rent a room at this pet-friendly motel and no, i am not currently accompanied by an animal. i just prefer to have my clothes covered in hairs not my own.
gaining deeper insight into my bacon problem as I'm escorted off the premises of the (apparently not!) all-you-can-eat brunch buffet place
belatedly realizing that it was probably a bad idea to sit in my mother's rocking chair, and wear her shawl, and mimic her voice, at this here speed dating event
was trying out a new handshake the other day and inadvertently became an excellent pickpocket
gazing blankly
at a spangly leotard
tossed into the corner of a Star Search dressing room.
dreams dashed,
confidence shook.
i swore that day
that it would be my last cartwheel ever.
and so far it has been, mainly on account of this thing i have going on with my wrists
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and Google Maps informed me that there was a twelve-minute delay on one of them due to construction
Dear Diary,
Don't let Bullet Journal see this but... I love you best.
Always have.
You were my first.
-PS
And now I present: an Italian vampire covering Radiohead
i guess we could have sex
Things I'd most like to change about myself? Hmm... Probably producing a Howard Dean scream during coitus.
Will I be using the McDonald's® Mobile App today?
Oh! How it pains me so to say, but
No! I shan't!
For I haven't yet Installed it, but
It's on my List,
I swear it so
Of Things to Do
One day.
I Promise you this,
I shall Return,
And answer Yes,
Yes!
Oh, Dear Ronald, Yes!
But for now
Can I just get an Egg McMuffin® and Hash Browns (two)?
all the hours I had wasted learning cursive, to ultimately use it only for writing illegible birthday card messages
Heading to my couples therapy session with artificial pistachio flavoring. I really think we can make it work this time, wish me luck.
If Die Hard can be a Christmas movie then Edge of Tomorrow can be a Groundhog Day movie. And yes I'll make up any excuse to watch Edge of Tomorrow.
oh shit here comes my opinion -
Loading…
-
Loading…
-
Loading…
