....never do the same mistake twice....okay maybe if he's hot you can 
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…I know you don’t play guitar, but if you hold my neck and finger me I’ll make the prettiest sounds
....when he cums so hard you can feel his heart racing and his pulse throbbing
…making you horny and making you smile are two of my favorite things
…what do you call two drunk people having sex?…rubbing alcohol
…every time I see a mattress on top of a car, my mind immediately thinks “damn prostitutes are doing door dash now?!”
....You remind me of my pinky toe.....sooner or later, I'm gonna bang you on a table
…what’s it like being around me, you may ask…well have you ever had a headache and an erection at the same time?
....sometimes a girl just wants to be bent over and banged like a scream door in the middle of a hurricane...
...welp can't think of anything funny at this moment to say...soooo fuck yall hoes
….dudes with the smallest dicks have the most fucked up attitudes, like calm down push pop
...I am attracted to men with the same sense of humor as me, so it's real damn unfortunate that I have the sense of humor of a fucking douche bag
..do you ever have such an inappropriate thought you have to dump water on yourself? Like calm down self, tone it down, think about Jesus you slut
…if a girl has a masked, stalker, dangerous man kink..does that make her crazy or hotter than normal? Asking for a friend
…bragging about how many dudes you’ve fucked since your ex..which was hmm, a few months ago..that’s not a flex sweetheart, that makes you a ho
…just heard cum referred to as “high fructose porn syrup”…my life will be forever changed…
…hmm, maybe you should ask yourself, “is my dick big enough to be acting like this?”…if the answer is no, then sit yo ass down
That pfp is smokin’!!
…and no charge for that compliment!
…if having sex for money makes you a hoe, then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganization?
…..some bitches be like, “I swear I’m clean, I’ve been tested!”…Mmk food poisoning sit ya ass down -
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