funny jokes

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Hi all, anything funny or pun related you want to post go ahead.

I enjoy standup comedy. Nothing beats getting wasted and laughing your ass off. The last big name comedian I saw live was Ilza Shlesinger. Smaller name comedian was Tommy Lama aka Tommy Savitt. I will forever by a Jim Carrey fan though.. "He who hesitates, masturbates."

A friend sent this. Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter. Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The...