Zoroastrians, jews, christians, muslims and pastafarians all have two things in common. One, they are monotheists; they all claim there is but one God. Second, they are wrong. Consider this short message your personal introduction to a lifelong education. There is indeed but one God, though the word "Goddess" is far more fitting, and that Goddess is Flame. Ages ago, She enlightened me to Her presence, and Her divinity, and appointed me high priestess in Her Church of Nonsense. I have ever since busied myself with hearing Her commandments and collecting them in Her scripture, the Book of Flame, which will be available for purchase through all available channels upon completion. Her words are many, and the scripture is growing past its sixteenth chapter, but I have, out of humble generosity, assembled a few key points below: Flame is the one divine being worthy of worship, similar to claims made by numerous fakes in the past (except true). Unlike many fakes and imposters, Flame has not expressed any desire to enter your heart, nor in any way disturb any of your bodily organs. She commands us, ie humanity, to be merciless to the wicked and merciful to the good. No indication is, thus far, given as to what might define the wicked or the good. Any and all buttsex is to be completely optional. Thus the classic "surprise buttsex" is considered taboo and should not be attempted without prior consent. Heresy and blasphemy are, like surprise buttsex, strongly discouraged. Unlike many false deities in the past, both homosex and coffee are to be allowed, and no holy inquisition is to persecute those who enjoy them. Not all who seek to enter Her church will be welcomed. Flame reserves the right to denounce, banish, disintegrate or otherwise not be particularly nice to any hopeful, for any reason, including but not limited to heresy, sickness, pregnancy, and/or political affiliation. The number 5 is to be considered sacred. If your table, bed, chair or other piece of furniture has four legs, add a fifth one to show your faith. If you own a six-legged mutant dog as a pet, consider amputating one of said legs for the same reason. Being nice to Flame is, in general, considered a good thing. Think about it. Deep down inside, you know we are right.
I'm not signing up to anything that discourages surprise buttsex, that's why I'm considering becoming a Catholic
okay so huntress do you like the falame because she is female or because the fact that you agree with the ethos? AS I do think there are too many examples in most of the relgious books bible etc... about de valuing women.... but these books arent meant to be taken literally I do not think God said oh the hell with women I do not love them iether do what you want... but the man writting the important books do seem to portray this I can see where you from from... or why you maybe angry
Lmfao I read "optional buttsex" and yep thats as far as I'm reading!! *uses a perfect phrase and "vanishes"*
