Advice - Middle Aged mum going through her sexuality

[LaylaArabianBi]

Hey, a bit of Advice to my wonderful LGBTQ+ community, who have been amazing during my journey.
I came out as Bi recently to my close friends (not family yet), I’ve always had this sexual feelings for the same sex since I was young but never had the courage to accept myself and always thought it was wrong, wel until my recently in divorce where I began exploring and accepting more about my body. And Ofcourse chats like FCN helped me alot where I meet like minded people and get to fantasise these desires.

Anyway enough with the chit chat, I think I’m ready to meet someone and maybe even start dating the same sex, but my question is how do I really know I’m ready and won’t mess up or get hurt, am I rushing things? Should I wait?

I’m 40 and growing up in a Muslim household where we were restricted and I got married young, I missed the best part of my youthful days so it’s not easy rocking up in a club or a dating scene at my grown age. Maybe it’s my insecurities, my age and body type? I really don’t know it’s a dilemma..

Does anyone feel like this?

 

[Busty_Nerd]

First off congratulations! Welcome to the bi club! I'm glad you can finally express who you are. You took the hardest step which is introducing yourself & telling us about you! Welcome!

My question is how do I really know I’m ready and won’t mess up or get hurt, am I rushing things? Should I wait?

I don't think anyone's ready for dating, lol. I think it's a difficult thing to do regardless of sexuality. The same questions could also be applied to hetero dating too. You are ready, you've made an account here, you've introduced yourself, you've likely started chatting to other women - you have an idea what you're looking for and what you want. That's the first step. You may get hurt or mess up (who doesn't though?) Humans make mistakes sometimes relationships don't work and certain people are searching for different things at no fault to you. At the end of the day it has nothing to do with your sexuality. You know who you are, even if you don't you'll grow and learn. Dating women or afab people are different compared to men. But I think taking things slow, really thinking about what it is you want from a sapphic relationship, really finding who you are, and what you want to be is a good place to start. If you're not ready to search for a relationship/date/have sex with: there's nothing wrong with getting integrated into the community and becoming friends with like-minded people. Becoming friends with sapphic people & finding yourself is great. You're serving yourself now.

I have to be honest, 40 is the new 20 and i'm not even joking. I think lots of us missed out on plenty of socializing when we were younger probably because our brains weren't fully formed until we are 25 and that we grew to learn more about ourselves after that. I can't say you missed out on anything, even if you married young. You aren't dead or dying, women don't suddenly lose value because you're not 21 anymore (regardless what red pill men think) The best times of our lives I promise are women who are 40-50 years old, or even older! They know exactly what they want, have experience, and they can read people's intentions more. You aren't missing out now. You know what you are now. The future is now! You make your own destiny.

Right now you need to focus on you, not what people think of you. 40 is still young & and it's attractive. Explore every part of you now, know exactly what you want & satisfy yourself. You're stronger, braver and more knowledgeable now. Don't be scared to follow your true self.

As always welcome to fcn. Feel free to explore the lgbt topics & let us know you.

 

[LaylaArabianBi]

Aww babe! Making me tear up! First of all thank you very much for your whole heartedly response, very thoughtful and continues to reaffirm the many reasons why I just love this community and that I made the correct choice. I think we humans are based on emotions and rely on moral support sometimes, really and truly messages like this gets me going.

And yes, I totally agree with you, if we put things to perspective, when are we really ready for anything in our lives! We just have to trust your instincts, dip my toes in and if I make any mistakes I’ll learn from it! I think I’m going to go for it, no more overthinking. I completed the first hurdle which is accepting myself and coming out, embracing it, and ever since I did this I just learn more about things everyday, it’s amazing, my confidence has boosted, and messages like this truly plays its role.

And again your right about age, i mean some of the choices or decision I am making today I can never imagine doing when 20 years ago! I’ve gained so much and enhanced my vision on this sexual journey I’m treading on, as much as nerve racking it is, it’s the excitement that keeps me going, I love this new layla, this transformation, I could so go on..

But hey, once again thank you so much darling for your message, it really means a lot, im happy to have come across this

Layla xxx

Mwah







As always welcome to fcn. Feel free to explore the lgbt topics & let us know you.[/QUOTE]

 

[EmpowerTwist]

Hey, well firstly, well done! You've taken the first step by coming out and being here to share your story with us. We all remember that first time and how nerve wracking it was. But then it wouldn't be any different nerves in a hetero space. So really, you just need to dive in. Once you've made that first step, you probably won't look back. Hope that helps and if you ever want to chat then feel free to message me privately.