Advice and Opinion Alright hear me out (trans men)

[Trust_RP]

Alright hear me out, I’m a guy. Generally speaking I like woman. If you were to see me irl I fit the dude bro gym goer persona (though in all actuality I’m a dork ass who studies 20th century literature all day).

In saying that I’m not usually attracted to guys, but, I see myself generally attracted to trans guys. I cannot tell if that makes me fucked or not. Because fundamentally I’m a more “conservative” guy, though do I view them as guys. But knowing their trans guys just digs it for me.

I haven’t really been into Lgbt surff, but after looking into it apparently there’s other guys like me that exist. And they’re called chasers, chaser being used as like derogatory for hetero guys who go after trans men.

but I want to make my view apparent and figure if I’m fucked or not. I think I’m attracted to trans guys, but I’d usually not be attracted to like a regular guy or like “femboys” I view trans men as such, men. Maybe I’m not articulating this as well as I’d like but the feeling is there. Any advice


(also talked with some one about this, I am not fetishizing trans guys. “Just as if you were to like blonde hair, you aren’t fetishizing blonde hair”. And I have to say I agree with them.)

 

[Busty_Nerd]

First off, I'm not trans i'm non-binary. So take this with a grain of salt, as I only mostly interact with LGBT people irl. You're not a dumbass, coming here seeking legit advice. It can be therapeutic and helpful. A chaser is someone who fetishizes trans people and is only attracted to them for fetish-y reasons, likely because trans men have vaginas or because people fetishize trans women who have penises. I think as long as you acknowledge this exists and make genuine efforts to get to know someone, and not based on genitalia or body type or something like hair.

Then you're already doing better than most people here.

I think there's some stuff to consider, first. You acknowledge trans men are men, yes? So that means you're not straight. Whether you're bi, bi curious, pansexual , open, etc. It's right to make that distinction, and it's what you need to consider when dating trans people. It shows is you're not chasing, but genuinely have these feelings for other people, not using them. Fem bois, drag queens, cross dressers also, while dress feminine, or appear as women, are also men and identify as men most of the time (these labels are usually used by men who identify as men, but there are lots of overlapping). It's fine to have these attractions and not be attracted to them, but it's good to recognize why that is. I think it's fine to be attracted to trans men as long as it's not fetishizing, and it's also acknowledging they are men, not people with vaginas. Which is something we non-binary people deal with. Not women, but have vaginas. Using the correct pronouns, and being considerate of how people perceive themselves as a trans person, already do better than chasers do. Chasers use people for sexual reasons or to "explore" , which is really unfair to trans people. As long as you consider this, I don't think it's dumb, or you're an asshole.

Also want to add, because you're a conservative. There are probably a lot of chasers in that demographic, more than most other demographics. I feel that many people will date trans people because they aren't ready to challenge their identity (but professional, privately or whatever) and have a lot to lose doing so. It's not as okay to experiment with genders or LGBT as much if you're conservative and if you do, it's secretly. It's dehumanizing. It's using trans people to explore your identity. All I can say is treat people fairly, humanly, don't use people, be honest with why you like someone, respect them as your equal. It's what I'd say to someone who is straight. Don't use people who don't want to be used.

Consider exploring your identity, but not at the expense of another living person.

I think attraction is based on person to person, rather than what you said "people with blond hair" you don't approach every blond haired person simply because they are blond. Preferences are fine to have. There are arguments whether trans is a preference. I have friends split evenly who think it's transphobic if you don't date trans people, and also people who feel that it's fine to have that preference. Ultimately, you have to work that out with yourself. You need to have an intimate look at your identity and ask difficult questions. But even though this is FCN: fetishes, sex, nudes etc.... still treat people like humans. Get to know people, use the right pronouns, and make sure you like someone for the right reasons - not because they have the genitalia you prefer. I hope this is at least helpful to you.

 

[Trust_RP]

First off, I'm not trans i'm non-binary. So take this with a grain of salt, as I only mostly interact with LGBT people irl. You're not a dumbass, coming here seeking legit advice. It can be therapeutic and helpful. A chaser is someone who fetishizes trans people and is only attracted to them for fetish-y reasons, likely because trans men have vaginas or because people fetishize trans women who have penises. I think as long as you acknowledge this exists and make genuine efforts to get to know someone, and not based on genitalia or body type or something like hair.

Then you're already doing better than most people here.

I think there's some stuff to consider, first. You acknowledge trans men are men, yes? So that means you're not straight. Whether you're bi, bi curious, pansexual , open, etc. It's right to make that distinction, and it's what you need to consider when dating trans people. It shows is you're not chasing, but genuinely have these feelings for other people, not using them. Fem bois, drag queens, cross dressers also, while dress feminine, or appear as women, are also men and identify as men most of the time (these labels are usually used by men who identify as men, but there are lots of overlapping). It's fine to have these attractions and not be attracted to them, but it's good to recognize why that is. I think it's fine to be attracted to trans men as long as it's not fetishizing, and it's also acknowledging they are men, not people with vaginas. Which is something we non-binary people deal with. Not women, but have vaginas. Using the correct pronouns, and being considerate of how people perceive themselves as a trans person, already do better than chasers do. Chasers use people for sexual reasons or to "explore" , which is really unfair to trans people. As long as you consider this, I don't think it's dumb, or you're an asshole.

Also want to add, because you're a conservative. There are probably a lot of chasers in that demographic, more than most other demographics. I feel that many people will date trans people because they aren't ready to challenge their identity (but professional, privately or whatever) and have a lot to lose doing so. It's not as okay to experiment with genders or LGBT as much if you're conservative and if you do, it's secretly. It's dehumanizing. It's using trans people to explore your identity. All I can say is treat people fairly, humanly, don't use people, be honest with why you like someone, respect them as your equal. It's what I'd say to someone who is straight. Don't use people who don't want to be used.

Consider exploring your identity, but not at the expense of another living person.

I think attraction is based on person to person, rather than what you said "people with blond hair" you don't approach every blond haired person simply because they are blond. Preferences are fine to have. There are arguments whether trans is a preference. I have friends split evenly who think it's transphobic if you don't date trans people, and also people who feel that it's fine to have that preference. Ultimately, you have to work that out with yourself. You need to have an intimate look at your identity and ask difficult questions. But even though this is FCN: fetishes, sex, nudes etc.... still treat people like humans. Get to know people, use the right pronouns, and make sure you like someone for the right reasons - not because they have the genitalia you prefer. I hope this is at least helpful to you.

Hey, it’s good to have some ones else viewpoint/perspective on this and I really do appreciate it. Only excluding the one or two mild presuppositions made in the 2 and 3 paragraph thanks homeslice.

 

[Busty_Nerd]

Hey, it’s good to have some ones else viewpoint/perspective on this and I really do appreciate it. Only excluding the one or two mild presuppositions made in the 2 and 3 paragraph thanks homeslice.

If I incorrectly made an assumption, I did not mean to. I still hope it's helpful. It's just due to my own experience, nothing more or less. Obviously everyone's situation is different, it's just what i've said to people in your situation before, who i've dated or been close to.

 

[Trust_RP]

If I incorrectly made an assumption, I did not mean to. I still hope it's helpful. It's just due to my own experience, nothing more or less. Obviously everyone's situation is different, it's just what i've said to people in your situation before, who i've dated or been close to.

Hey I forgot to give a response to this, but hey man fair enough. Speaking off your experience is the smartest thing to do in this kind of situation. To speak outside of such wouldn’t make too much sense (though a lot of people do it).

 

[Busty_Nerd]

Hey I forgot to give a response to this, but hey man fair enough. Speaking off your experience is the smartest thing to do in this kind of situation. To speak outside of such wouldn’t make too much sense (though a lot of people do it).

You don't need to reply to it, but hopefully it's still helpful.

 

[FtMpussywet]

Alright hear me out, I’m a guy. Generally speaking I like woman. If you were to see me irl I fit the dude bro gym goer persona (though in all actuality I’m a dork ass who studies 20th century literature all day).

In saying that I’m not usually attracted to guys, but, I see myself generally attracted to trans guys. I cannot tell if that makes me fucked or not. Because fundamentally I’m a more “conservative” guy, though do I view them as guys. But knowing their trans guys just digs it for me.

I haven’t really been into Lgbt surff, but after looking into it apparently there’s other guys like me that exist. And they’re called chasers, chaser being used as like derogatory for hetero guys who go after trans men.

but I want to make my view apparent and figure if I’m fucked or not. I think I’m attracted to trans guys, but I’d usually not be attracted to like a regular guy or like “femboys” I view trans men as such, men. Maybe I’m not articulating this as well as I’d like but the feeling is there. Any advice


(also talked with some one about this, I am not fetishizing trans guys. “Just as if you were to like blonde hair, you aren’t fetishizing blonde hair”. And I have to say I agree with them.)

I personally like you are this honest and have a preference