Ask a swinger wife any question .....

Playfulpuddles

Playfulpuddles

Well-Known Member
FCN Regular
OK, Seems some of the threads on here are just too boring or juvenile, lol. I thought I would try to spice it up a bit. SO HERE IT IS..... ask a happily married swinger wife (yes, that would be me) any question and I will give you an honest answer and/or advice based on my 11 years of swinging experience. I will include my husband in some of the answers when needed based on the question.

What would you like to ask? Don't be shy, lol ......
 
Jelly0346 said:
Who first suggested swinging? How did the initial conversation about sexual freedom go for you? What limits were set?
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My husband did (when we were still just friends, lived 1800 miles apart, and still married to other people) during a dinner conversation at a trade show. He asked if I had ever swung, and I said "I don't do that I live in Minnesota, lol", where he said "What do you think a lot of the people do during the 6 months they are snowed in". The topic came up again 3 months later at another trade show, we were discussing porn. I said I sometimes rent porn movies in my hotel room, and he asked if I watched girl on girl?..... I said "No, I like watching 2 or more guys on 1 girl". At that point he said "If you like that, you can swing". I had to admit to him at that point that I had thought about swinging, and had to admit that I can't say I like it or don't like it since I never tried it before.
 
silkyjonson said:
Are either of you bi....and is it freedom to swing separately, or same room mashup
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We are both straight. We only swing as a couple..... as we enjoy sharing our fantasies together as a team. Neither of us see the sense in swinging separate.... might as well be single, lol. Some people use swinging to fix problems in their marriage, (sexless marriage, not in love anymore, desperate to get attention from anyone so they don't lose everything in a divorce) which only makes the problems worse, and ends the marriage with more reasons to hate each other, lol. Some people think that if they swing (as a couple) that also gives them a "hall pass" to cheat ..... again, only leads to disaster. Swinging is not for everyone, but for those who do it right, and enjoy it for the right reasons, have a lot of fun. Some couples do "separate vacations" together where they trade wives for the duration of the vacation. Some like to have the wife go out for the night and come home after playing with someone she met and tell the husband what happened, some do separate room sex, and so on. To each their own. For us, our relationship is rock solid.... and swinging has made our relationship become stronger and more passionate ..... because we did not do it for the reasons..... we enjoy sharing it together. Be it a 1 on 1 with me and another guy, MFM, MMMF, MFMF, or a gangbang, we do it together and enjoy the fun of sharing our wonderful sex life with select people, and enjoy watching each other get off from the energy..... and more so, watching how much our playmates enjoy getting off with the two of us.
 
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Playfulpuddles said:
My husband did (when we were still just friends, lived 1800 miles apart, and still married to other people) during a dinner conversation at a trade show. He asked if I had ever swung, and I said "I don't do that I live in Minnesota, lol", where he said "What do you think a lot of the people do during the 6 months they are snowed in". The topic came up again 3 months later at another trade show, we were discussing porn. I said I sometimes rent porn movies in my hotel room, and he asked if I watched girl on girl?..... I said "No, I like watching 2 or more guys on 1 girl". At that point he said "If you like that, you can swing". I had to admit to him at that point that I had thought about swinging, and had to admit that I can't say I like it or don't like it since I never tried it before.
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I love all of the detail here! That was awesome to read. So does the swinging life live up to your initial expectations or hopes? What aspects are like you imagined? What is different than you thought?
 
Jelly0346 said:
I love all of the detail here! That was awesome to read. So does the swinging life live up to your initial expectations or hopes? What aspects are like you imagined? What is different than you thought?
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In the 11 years we have been swinging as a couple (my husband had swung before he met me) we have had some great experiences with local friends and some occasional "strangers" on our many road trips across the US. I have come to realize that 90% of the people who say they are swingers (on the swinger websites) are total flakes and fakes. I have also realized that 95% of the men we have invited to join us don't have the balls to follow thru with what they say they want to do. I will say..... that lately we have had more fun with "non-swingers", as in, people who are not on swinger websites.... it is a lot more fun to fulfill a fantasy for someone who wasn't looking for it before they met us, lol, the ones who said yes when my husband asked them "Would you like to fuck my wife?". Swing clubs are also fun since the people there know why they went there, lol. We also make swinging only a part of our life..... we do not make it our entire life like some people do. That is why the play is so much fun when we do play because it is not routine or the main focus of our life.
 
Couples with high jealousy issues should never swing. On the other hand, if there wasn't just a little bit of jealousy here or there when a couple swings (low level, the type you make into fantasy fodder) then they should never swing either.... because their relationship is dying or already dead (and swinging WILL NOT FIX IT). Yes we have a little bit of jealousy on occasion, that is all part of it being healthy. We have asked ourselves at times... "do we want to still do this" before we get together for a planned "play date" with another couple or a guy(s) for me.... and then we say to each other, "yes, it will be fun". Having that question pop up in our heads and hearts tells us we are still in love and are doing it for the right reasons... sharing fantasies with our soul mate and best friend. The day we stop having those... what I call small "pings" is the day we need to take a break, or stop swinging all together. So, yes there is always a little bit of jealousy in swinging ... the trick (that not everyone is capable of doing) is making that little bit of jealousy work in your favor in your head & heart so the playtime is even more hot and erotic for all involved. If both of you (a couple) enjoy watching your partner being pleasured... it will work for you while playing with others.... and make your sex alone between the two of you even better as you "take each other back" after a play date, or, even just a evening alone when you begin whispering a fantasy in each other's ear.... only now you have actual memories to make it really hot evening of passionate love making . If you or your partner cannot stand seeing the other one even flirt with another person.... don't even try to swing. It will only ruin your relationship. As I have said before.... swinging is not for everyone, just like jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft with a parachute on your back is not for everyone either.
 
Thank you for taking the time to answer so completely... no one I've asked has ever given such a thoughtful answer...

Ive always wondered about that singular question... even in a great relationship., to physically watch another pleasure your mate . To wonder if she likes his "style more"... or if its just that its exciting and new and different... i am left to continue to ponder.

I have always " gotten off" when my mate has flirted openly... its a rush when some other dude gets left in ashes when she leaves with me... but actually "reclaiming" hmmm... it might get abit rough as I try to prove im the better man... oh well...

Thanks again for such an open and honest answer...
 
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If your relationship is a strong one.... you have a very open line of communication with each other (you can talk about playing with others without it becoming a fight) and you both want to do it (not just one of you) then swinging can be very rewarding to a relationship..... and make it stronger as it did with ours.

This is how my husband explains it to other couples we play with:
"My wife is my Ferrari, and I am her Ferrari. Your husband is your Ferrari, and you are his. When we play with each other we all get to enjoy a fast Camaro or a Corvette, knowing that we will all be going home to the Ferraris we are married to."

When it comes to other (single) guys, we all have the understanding that they are in a sense, my boyfriend. I have a husband I will not leave for anyone, so if the friendship becomes strong, they will be a "special" boyfriend and I am their "girlfriend" in a sense. When we play, we are all there, as I do not play separate. Hopefully that helps make it a little easier to understand since I only have so much room to type, lol.

The one thing that is a constant in swinging: If you are a couple, and your relationship is not strong or you are having problems..... that is when it can be easy for someone to fall in love with their playmate, thus putting the final nail in the coffin that was their marriage.
 
Both, it has happened more than once at home and on business road trips around the US. Some we played with, some we didn't, there needs to be sexual chemistry along with personal chemistry (being friends)
 
Sometimes we set up a play day with a guy, or a couple, or a group.... sometimes it just happens. When we travel (and sometimes at home since we live in a vacation area of AZ/NV) we will have guys who will hit us up on one the swinger websites we have an ad on. We will meet, and if we click, enjoy a fun night or afternoon of MFM play. Couples require more work for everyone to click because a lot of women have "issues" (and men too on a rare occasion) that can make it hard to click right off the bat. We are very selective, and prefer quality play over quantity, and good friends over one night stands.
 
We live in NW Arizona on the Colorado River overlooking the casinos of Laughlin Nevada. The weather is great for outdoor sex 90% of the year. We average 12-15% humidity year round, which means dry heat that doesn't make you sweat all the time like the Midwest or the south. In the hot months we spend a lot of time playing in the water (river, lake, or our large spa) and under the misters on the 900 SF deck during the day or night (no need for a sweatshirt at night around here, lol). We also have a fire ring we often play around (winter or summer) and Tiki torches in various locations on the property for that sensual Hawaiian feel at night.
 
Yes, swinging, lol. It is both the thing I tried and liked and the strangest thing I has ever done until 2008. I met my 3rd husband in 2007. When we started down the road to a life together, he asked me once if I would be interested in swinging.... where I said "are you nuts? I live in Minnesota", where he replied "what do you think most of the people there do when snowed in for 6 months?" We would only saw each other a few times a year at trade shows, I lived in MN he lived in AZ. A couple months later at another trade show the topic of porn came up when discussing a business associate of mine being seen rushing thru the hotel lobby trying to hide his little paper bag (full of porn videos he just bought that his wife would not approve of at home). I said I had rented porn in my hotel room before, he asked if I liked girl on girl. I said no, I like one girl and multiple guys videos..... then he said "hell, if you like that, then you can definitely swing, lol". I had to admit to him that I had been thinking about it.... and that I had realized it was not fair of me to say to I did not like something I had not tried before. Not long after that we tried it.... on another trade show trip, this time in Baltimore, I had a MFM with him and a Doctor we met thru an ad we posted on a swinger site. I LIKED IT!!!

SINCE THEN my husband has introduced me to a few more things that I discovered I like: Multiple orgasms (my 2 ex-husbands were lousy in and out of bed, lol), Facials, Anal sex, Group sex, MFMs, How to squirt, Having people watch while I enjoy sex....... just a few things this little lady has discovered when he unlocked my wild side shortly after we met.
 
Chubbychappie said:
What age groups do you swing with
What ages do you prefer

Also is there anything you wouldn’t do
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The age question is really more about the person or persons themselves than it is about their age. We have met guys and girls in their 20's who acted very mature (very, very few though) and we have met guys and couples in their 40's & 50's who act like a 12 year old who just saw Playboy Magazine for the first time. I have to say, we prefer people over 40 on average because of the maturity level, sexual knowledge (if they made an effort to learn from their past lovers and not just focus on getting themselves off), and topics of conversation (we have no idea what happened on Sesame Street this week, lol), and they don't need a cell phone in their hand 24 hours a day. BUT, I have to admit, a younger guy on occasion can be very validating for a lady in her 50's..... lol. When it comes to who we play with, it boils down to: Mostly personality, looks (we do not want Ken & Barbie, or gym rats), then age.

Things I won't do:
1. NO Girl on Girl..... how boring! I am 100% straight, cock only for me, and as I see it.... All you can eat fish night is
not my thing, lol ... and why have another girl stick a plastic cock in me when I can have the real thing? lol. No
offense to the Bi ladies.... just not my thing. FYI for Bi women: Straight women are not looking to be converted,
so stop trying, lol

2. NO cock over 7". I might blow one over 7", but stuffing a telephone pole in my tight little girl is NO FUN for me.

3. NO heavy BDSM. Some light bondage is OK with the right people, but being whipped like an old plow horse is a
turn off for me.

4. NO anal sex with other men until we meet the guy who understands how to do it right like my husband does.

5. NO weird stuff.... no golden showers, no fucking the dog, no playing mommy, no potty games, etc.
 
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