Banter Can I ... ?

Sure. Post them in the gardening thread, in Hobbies forum.

Can I bite your ankles ?
 
no, some other ankle-biter beat you to it and reserved my ankles first

can i go the rest of the day without calling someone buddy (derogatory)?
 
yes, though if you're not careful your fingers might get tangled in my curls

can i dig through your pantry for a snack?
 
No. I don't consume those.

Can I eat two pounds of blueberries and not get sick?
 
it'd probably at least give you a stomachache, if i had to guess. unless you're a fiber god

can i move your furniture around while you're out?
 
No way.

Can I make a pizza this weekend, with a finally successful wheatless dough recipe?
 
No. It's still winter.

Can I actually be productive around home on this four-day weekend and not piss away my Fri + Mon off work?
 
Nah. You’ll do semi-productive stuff, like cook something a bit new. Maybe titivate your garden. Possibly buy some junk you don’t really need from some store. But you’ll get distracted by interwebs and be furiouz at yourself by around 4pm Monday.

Can I be arsed this weekend to tackle the jungle that appears to be my back garden?
 
to echo your answer, probably not. but now maybe you can use spite from me saying no to motivate you

can i get through the last full set of every arm exercise today?
 
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