You've been diagnosed with Humpotitis where you have started believing that the Pot is your one and only, that is the only hole meant for you and you can't stop adoring it. The symptoms range from sitting on it for hours, touching yourself when you're on top and, goes as far as, clicking selfies with it.
Unfortunately, we don't have a cure as of now because we can't just isolate you and keep you from using one. The only thing we can do is keep you under constant observation, restrict the other symptoms and try to find a cure. We'd like you to sign some documents, allowing us to perform every kind of test.