Hi everyone

Arty1982

Arty1982

New Member
FCN Regular
New user here so thought I would say hi. 41, Married father of two from Scotland just looking for a bit of excitement. Happily married to wife for 13 years but sex life has dipped over time.
My wife is not adventurous at all when I comes to sex and never has been, she likes it plain and simple but my appetite for something more adventurous in the bedroom has gradually increased over the years.
I have bought lingerie and sex toys and tried taking sexy pictures but she says they all make her uncomfortable. She never initiates sex, very rarely ever touches me and has never ever touched herself! That really blew my mind when she told me she's never masterbated since I masterbate very regularly and have done so my whole life. But I cannot touch myself in front of her, she hates it.
I think sex could be much better if she would get more involved but she said sex was always great back in the day and doesn't know why it needs to change. Maybe this is my mid-life crisis, I don't know, but I feel like I need something more. Am I a terrible husband?
 
She is happy to have sex but everything need to be just right. She never gets horny or indicates she wants sex so I have to put in all the work to get her to the point she's OK to have sex.
Quickies are out of the question she doesn't like it. Used to have quickies back in the day so thought she liked it but after she told me she doesn't I just don't bother her if I'm horny.
Happy for me to give her oral though, that seems to be the best way to get her ready but she gets annoyed if I'm too slow or too fast or change pace and will bark at me "why are you doing this or that" My self esteem gets low, I put in all the effort to get her ready but she will do absolute nothing for me, then she'll complain if I'm not ready with my erection when she finally wants it but won't do anything to encourage it. I can get an erection early on in the build up but that fades and I can't touch myself in from of her and she won't touch me to get me going again, then I'm all up in my own head thinking "I'm not going to be good enough" or "she's going to be annoyed now". Then both of us are unsatisfied and annoyed.
She's also a bit of a germ freak so will demand I immediately wash my hands and face before I touch anything else, if I do touch anything she has to go get an anti-bac wipe and clean whatever I touched.
 
Sorry I know these are massive long messages, I can't really talk about it to friends and family but feels good to get thing off my chest anonymously to anyone who want to read it, thanks
 
Yeah definitely self conscious when it comes to sex and sexual things but not with her body/figure. She accepts her shape and all the lumps and bumps that come with it, all of which have got bigger with age. But she's still comfortable walking around the house naked even with two teenage girls in the house, who don't bat an eyelid because they've grown up with it.
 
Oh and I don't mean she walks around the house all day naked. Just that we both have always slept naked so walking back and forward to the bathroom naked everyday was just normal in our small house
 
Update. Everything came to a head recently about our sex life, we had a big argument and it turns out my wife was sexually abused by her grandfather as a child....... Fuck me! I was blown away with this sudden news as I had no idea but everything makes so much sense now. Hopefully we can now work through this and build a better relationship together but it's gonna be alot of hard work.
 
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