Game I need to/The problem is

Problem is you haven’t shaved your pubic hairs in a long time so it is probably just clogged from the last time you did it. What’s that? Oh … you mean for outdoors. Got it. Just put gas in it. :)

I need to fix our washer
 
The problem is it's broken probaly because of all that unprotected sex your been having

I need to prepare for this week
 
Problem is your “preparing” is getting out of bed, staying in your onsie and logging into work from home. Your most exciting thing during work meetings is every once in a while, you check to make sure your mic is muted and you surf porn sites and jack off to Karen in sales. She’s pretty hot.

I need to plan better zoom meetings
 
The problem is your trying to run a Zoom meeting from a strip club…you shouldn’t ask for a cover charge….o_O

I need to relax
 
The problem is I like bacon too and I definitely won't share it:p

I need a massage after a hard day's work
 
Problem is the key words are “hard” and “day’s” which neither term has been used to describe your work ethic. Maybe when you’re around that lovely receptionist the hard part is dead on.

I need to go surfing
 
The problem is that all the water has waved farewell, leaving you high and dry. Or at least high... maybe you're all wet.

I need to see if that change to the settings to allow my DDR5 5200Mhz RAM to reach its potential makes a noticeable difference.
 
The problem is your power supply is insufficient and will short out your motherboard.

I need a vacation
 
The problem is you can’t decide weather to go spelunking or cow tipping….hard choices

I need to decide what’s for lunch
 
The problem is you are on the menu.

I need to go to city bbq for lunch
 
The problem is you always drink too much and end up with the "bottle flu" and call into work, too embarrassed to admit you're hung over you tell them you have the swine flu instead.

I need some aspirin.
 
The problem there is no more aspirin left except for that bottle left in the glove compartment of a 1989 Corolla rusting in an El Paso junkyard and I won't tell you which yard. Haha!

I need a map to find myself.
 
Problem is your meeting is via video and your out of lube. What does that have to do with anything, you ask? Because you pass the time on these video meetings by jacking off to all the ladies on the call. Bottom of your desk is just layered with cum stains.

I need to say what I need to say in less words and get the same meaning.
 
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