Jokes

Girlfriend: Darling Give me your Diamond Ring.
Boyfriend: Why honey?
Gf: I'm going to miss you see it everyday.
Bf: You would remember me anyway.
Girlfriend: How's that?
Bf: thinking that I had not given you that precious ring.
 
Human-beings get rich as they grow old:
Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!
 
Father put a thumb sign on his son's report card.
Son: Papa, you're an engineer, then why this thumb?
Father: Seeing your very poor marks, the teacher should not think that your father is educated.
 
Only 3 living beings are immune to cold:
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Girls wearing sleeveless and backless dresses in marriages during severe winter.
 
There is nothing more expensive than a single drop of a female/girl tear!
When a tear falls, it first mixes with 'MAC' eyeliner and 'Maybelline' mascara;
Then it comes down to the cheek, it mixes with "La Femme" blusher;
And in case it touches the lips, it gets mixed with 'Lancome' lipstick;
This means that a single drop is worth at least Rs 15000!
 
Thr r basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS...
1. HARD DISK Girls:Remember everything forever.
2. RAM Girls: Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.
3. SCREEN SAVER Girls: Just for looking. .
4. INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access..
5. SERVER Girls: Always busy when needed. .
6. MULTIMEDIA Girls: Makes horrible things looks beautiful. .
7. VIRUS Girls : These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE' once enters in your
system don't leave even after format.
 
An airplane was about to crash.
There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said “I am Stephen Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can’t afford to die.” So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Rudeman, said, “I am the newly-elected US El Comandante, and I am the smartest El Comandante in American history, so my people don’t want me to die.” He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, “My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”
The little boy said, “That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you.
America’s smartest El Comandante took my schoolbag.”
 
I was in 10th; she was in 10th.
I was in 12th; she was in 12th.
I got BSc; she got BSc
I was doing MSc; she got married.
I was preparing for JRF; she’s the mother of 1 child.
I got Ph.D.; she’s the mother of 2 children.
I am doing Ph.D.; her daughter is in 1st standard
I became doctorate; her daughter is in 10th
I have joined job; her daughter has joined college
And the greatest Irony!
Today is my engagement
And her daughter is my fiancée.
 
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