Thoughts Neighborhood Q&A

OnyxStorm said:
@AlexWS - Do you have any phobias?
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LOL Yes I do. I fucking hate bees, never been stung by one and never plan to be, I don't like flying, I don;t like being in water where my feet don;'t touch, and crows, one attacked me on a paper route when I was a kid, I dropped my bag and ran home, lost my route:(

@OnyxStorm
@LilaKay8
@Heather

If you had the money, what are three senseless purchases you would make to treat yourself?
 
AlexWS said:
LOL Yes I do. I fucking hate bees, never been stung by one and never plan to be, I don't like flying, I don;t like being in water where my feet don;'t touch, and crows, one attacked me on a paper route when I was a kid, I dropped my bag and ran home, lost my route:(

@OnyxStorm
@LilaKay8
@Heather

If you had the money, what are three senseless purchases you would make to treat yourself?
Click to expand...
Awww bees can be a bit scary in a way but in reality I feel they are scared of us more and plus they are chill if you dont harm them and they give us honey. I did watch a documentary about bees before they're really interesting though. Killer bees are ones who I don't wish to see or be around them ever.


My answer: hmm I'd probably buy nail polish because I'm obsessed with it and I don't need it but want it. Another thing I'd buy would be coloring books lol have tons already. Last thing I'd do is probably spend money on junk food hahaa it would be boring random purchases.
 
@Calazviel if you close your eyes and think of the last time you were in complete bliss/true happiness, what do you smell/taste/feel?
 
LillyK99 said:
@Calazviel if you close your eyes and think of the last time you were in complete bliss/true happiness, what do you smell/taste/feel?
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A great question and also a difficult one, difficult in the sense that ever since I was young I've suffered from anxiety and cyclical depression so everything I've experienced has always been through the filter of that so some of the best moments of my life, in fact key moments have been tainted by the shadow of those mental health issues lurking in the background. I was briefly medicated to help me but it left me feeling numb so I'd rather experience all that I have to experience both negative and positive.

So I'm actually going to talk about a few moments they don't equate in terms of importance at all but just in terms of feel.

The first would be the birth of my son, the labour was anything but quick, it was long and drawn out, emotionally and physically draining and I wasn't doing any of the work and as a guy I felt kind of helpless and there were complications. Then suddenly the delivery and with a flash he's out and screaming and then gone as he had some problems and we didn't get a chance to meet him till a couple of hours later in a neonatal unit and I got to hold him for the first time, beautiful face all scrunched up with a little frown and snifflinh feeling sorry for himself and a few marks from the forceps. A warm little bundle that melted into my arms and loved the affection and in holding him all my exhaustion melted away and he felt awesome in my arms, smelled perfect and comforting and even though I wondered if I would be ever enough as a father or as a role model it kind of felt inconsequential, I knew I'd always love him and he'd always love me.

The second moment that comes to mind pales in insignificance by comparison. I was 20 or 21 and I'd gone out for a night out with my course mates the usual timetable was to drink, drink a lot, dance a bit and drink some more and perhaps some flirting thrown in for good measure and an attempt to get lucky. But a group of us broke off that night some good guys, some gorgeous girls and we danced and danced all night, we didn't drink we just danced and laughed and had fun, no attempts at crude solicitation or trying to get into anyone's pants. Just joyfully enjoying each others company and living in the moment, I'd always been one to drink and live it up but that night showed me something different, that I could have fun and completely cut off and just live if I let myself. It felt good walking home that night and climbing into my bed. I think I learnt a lot that night.

As far as when I close my eyes what smells do I remember that bring me joy it would be sitting on the second floor window sill of my student house my legs dangling out of the window during thunderstorms and that wonderful scent in the air as the first drops started to fall. Lying outside my tent with friends at music festivals the smell of campfires, joints and the feel of grass against the back of my neck and the laughter of women.

These are a few of the things I can mention, but truth is even amongst all that anxiety and cyclical bouts of heavy depression there have been some great times be it long periods to brief moments. Enough that I can look back on fondly.
 
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Calazviel said:
A great question and also a difficult one, difficult in the sense that ever since I was young I've suffered from anxiety and cyclical depression so everything I've experienced has always been through the filter of that so some of the best moments of my life, in fact key moments have been tainted by the shadow of those mental health issues lurking in the background. I was briefly medicated to help me but it left me feeling numb I'd rather experience all that I have to experience both negative and positive.

So I'm actually going to talk about a few moments they don't equate in terms of importance at all but just in terms of feel.

The first would be the birth of my son, the labour was anything but quick, it was long and drawn out, emotionally and physically draining and I wasn't doing any of the work and as a guy I felt kind of helpless and there were complications. Then suddenly the delivery and with a flash he's out and screaming and then gone as he had some problems and we didn't get a chance to meet him till a couple of ours late in a neonatal unit and I got to hold him for the first time, beautiful face all scrunched up with a little frown and sniffle feeling sorry for himself and a few marks from the forceps. A warm little bundle that melted into my arms and loved the affection and holding him all my exhaustion melted away and he felt awesome in my arms, smelt perfect and comforting and even though I wondered if I would be ever enough as a father or as a role model it kind of felt inconsequential, I knew I'd always love him and he'd always love me.

The second moment that comes to mind pales in insignificance by comparison. I was 20 or 21 and I'd gone out for a night out with my course mates the usual timetable was to drink, drink a lot, dance a bit and drink some more and perhaps some flirting thrown in for good measure and an attempt to get lucky. But a group of us broke off that night some good guys, some gorgeous girls and we danced and danced all night, we didn't drink we just danced and laughed and had fun, no attempts at crude solicitation or trying to get into anyone's pants. Just joyfully enjoying each others company and living in the moment, I'd always been one to drink and live it up but that night showed me something different, that I could have fun and completely cut off and just live if I let myself. It felt good walking home that night and climbing into my bed. I think I learnt a lot that night.

As far as when I close my eyes what smells do I remember that bring me joy it would be sitting on the second floor window sill of my student house my legs dangling out of the window during thunderstorms and that wonderful scent in the air as the first drops started to fall. Lying outside my tent with friends at music festivals the smell of campfires, joints and the feel of grass against the back of my neck and the laughter of woman.

These are a few of the things I can mention, but truth is even amongst all that anxiety and cyclical bouts of heavy depression there have been some great times be it long periods to brief moments. Enough that I can look back on fondly.
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Thank you for sharing all that. Depression is definitely a joy killer imo but it's not the end and there's always hope ❤ I've learned a lot about our senses and how important it is to fully experience them. It helps us to be in the moment when we focus on them
 
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