Please help me.

[Happilymarried38]

Hi there. I'm a 38 year old happily married woman with 2 children.

I have for a while been toying with the idea of exploring my sexuality, with the idea of at least experiencing a sexual encounter with another girl.

I haven't told my husband as I don't know what he would think.

I don't know if I should go for it or not. I don't know how I should go about it either.

Do I visit a gay bar, do I use an online dating app or do I speak to my girlfriend who I've known for a decade or more who is bisexual.

Any advice would be very much appreciated, especially if you are gay/bisexual.

I want to do something like this before I get too old.

 

[Genevievebiwife]

Hello and welcome. I would maybe try to tell your husband about your desires see how he reacts, but tell him you want to alone with her, if he says no then you have to make a decision, whether to take this step. If you did would your husband ever find out , I don’t want to see you ruin a marriage. I would speak to your friend first and see what she says , have a girls days together see where it’s goes . Good luck and keep us updated if you like

 

[Happilymarried38]

Hello and welcome. I would maybe try to tell your husband about your desires see how he reacts, but tell him you want to alone with her, if he says no then you have to make a decision, whether to take this step. If you did would your husband ever find out , I don’t want to see you ruin a marriage. I would speak to your friend first and see what she says , have a girls days together see where it’s goes . Good luck and keep us updated if you like

I have spoken to my husband, but not sure how he's feeling about it though, hasn't said very much.
I definitely don't want him with me if I do go through with it, it will probably be awkward enough without him there.
Thanks for your advice.

 

[Happilymarried38]

Hello and welcome. I would maybe try to tell your husband about your desires see how he reacts, but tell him you want to alone with her, if he says no then you have to make a decision, whether to take this step. If you did would your husband ever find out , I don’t want to see you ruin a marriage. I would speak to your friend first and see what she says , have a girls days together see where it’s goes . Good luck and keep us updated if you like

I spoke to my friend yesterday, we spent quite a while talking about this.

She asked me if this is something that is going to morph into a permanent bi/lesbian relationship, I said no, I would like to just experience something like this.

After several hours of talking she said that she would chaperone me to a gay bar in Bristol, our nearest city.

We would book into a hotel, if and when I met someone she would stay close by just so that I could have some reassurance.
She said that she will refuse to help me if I'm going to destroy my marriage.

My friend said that it's best not to tell my husband, at least not just yet.

 

[Craig53m]

As a husband, a father, a spouse...I would say open, honest communication is always the best policy. It may fall on deaf ears, but at least you'd be open about it. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Happilymarried38]

As I've said in a previous comment, I have told my husband.

He hasn't said very much, I'm not sure how he's feeling. I've told him that it's something I would like to try before I get too old. I've also said that I'm not looking to change my sexual preferences or desires.

I've told him many times lately that I love him and he's all I want, our love life is really good.

 

[blueyedev1l]

As I've said in a previous comment, I have told my husband.

He hasn't said very much, I'm not sure how he's feeling. I've told him that it's something I would like to try before I get too old. I've also said that I'm not looking to change my sexual preferences or desires.

I've told him many times lately that I love him and he's all I want, our love life is really good.

It kind of sounds like he isn't super happy about it. I don't know what sort of arrangement you two have but if you do decide to go ahead,it would be a nice gesture to make a deal with him that he also gets to have another woman if he wants to.

Perhaps he has fantasies or things he wants to do before he gets too old too.

 

[Happilymarried38]

We don't have any arrangements of any kind.

We have been talking about this since bonfire night, we agreed not to talk about it a week before Xmas and won't talk about it either for a few more days.

I've never thought about giving him a similar opportunity in terms of letting him see another girl, not sure how I feel about that.

He's 41.

 

[Caitlin1006]

I spoke to my friend yesterday, we spent quite a while talking about this.

She asked me if this is something that is going to morph into a permanent bi/lesbian relationship, I said no, I would like to just experience something like this.

After several hours of talking she said that she would chaperone me to a gay bar in Bristol, our nearest city.

We would book into a hotel, if and when I met someone she would stay close by just so that I could have some reassurance.
She said that she will refuse to help me if I'm going to destroy my marriage.

My friend said that it's best not to tell my husband, at least not just yet.

I dont think its fair that your unsure on if you'd want him to experience someone else when you're more than comfortable doing just that yourself. I think it's something you need a deep and honest chat about. Sit down, speak about rules, what you both feel comfortable with, things you'd prefer not to do. But ultimately you both have to agree or it could break your marriage

 

[Happilymarried38]

I dont think its fair that your unsure on if you'd want him to experience someone else when you're more than comfortable doing just that yourself. I think it's something you need a deep and honest chat about. Sit down, speak about rules, what you both feel comfortable with, things you'd prefer not to do. But ultimately you both have to agree or it could break your marriage

Someone else said something similar, this is something I will probably have to consider.

 

[Caitlin1006]

Someone else said something similar, this is something I will probably have to consider.

I would say so. At the moment it's very much one rule for one type thing. I do completely get where your coming from. The thought of anyone else touching my man is a no go at all. But then you've got to see it from his point of view. If he came to you and say I want to explore something new with either gender. Would you just let him or would you be against it. Certainly something huge to sit and speak about, weigh up the pros and cons. He is okay with only you exploring something new. Would you be open for you both to do it together? Lots of questions and answers! Hope you find exactly what you looking for

 

[Happilymarried38]

I would say so. At the moment it's very much one rule for one type thing. I do completely get where your coming from. The thought of anyone else touching my man is a no go at all. But then you've got to see it from his point of view. If he came to you and say I want to explore something new with either gender. Would you just let him or would you be against it. Certainly something huge to sit and speak about, weigh up the pros and cons. He is okay with only you exploring something new. Would you be open for you both to do it together? Lots of questions and answers! Hope you find exactly what you looking for

As I've said, this will have to be something I will need to consider.