Thoughts Post your little thoughts.

I used to think that coming here made me happy, fixed the loneliness and other issues in my life, but it doesn't. It's only a temporary fix.
Once the screen goes off, the problems come right back, and they usually feel 10xs worse. It's one major reason why I post less and less and have just been quiet.
There's great people here that are great friends, sure, but that can't fix real life issues or fix happiness.
It's all just temporary.
 
Today is National Aids Day but I combined with Aids Day also want to give a thought and moment to the people we lost because of Covid-19 and the devastating effect it had on the world and humanity. We have all lost someone or more people somewhere in the last 18 months. We all deserve a moment of silence to remember what was and what is now.
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brunette29 said:
I used to think that coming here made me happy, fixed the loneliness and other issues in my life, but it doesn't. It's only a temporary fix.
Once the screen goes off, the problems come right back, and they usually feel 10xs worse. It's one major reason why I post less and less and have just been quiet.
There's great people here that are great friends, sure, but that can't fix real life issues or fix happiness.
It's all just temporary.
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No it doesn’t fix the real life problems but it does give you a moment to escape them… and in that moment you may be helping someone else escape their real life problems too.
Everything is temporary, even the problems.
Hope things get better for you soon x
 
Just a little thought this is not direct at anybody specific and I know there is many man who is not like that and real gentlemans who show respect. It also not just about forums but included the chat side too.

When I look at how sensitive many of the men are here, when they do not get what they are looking for but, how insensitive they act towards women I wonder how they will feel if we refer to them all as whores and sluts etc or degraded them and humiliate them. The impression created is that it is ok to refer to a woman as a slut or a whore or to degraded and humiliated them just because she is like them on a sex site but their fragile egos need to be handled with care. If you correct them, tell them no or send them away they want to go on defense. But oh lordy let us just dare to say something then we are over sensitive. Makes me wonder.
 
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We look for things on the outside when it should come from us. There is so much power in embracing being alone. The only person you will be with from the second you are born till the second you die... is you. Nobody else and that's a fact.

You have to be your best friend. You can either be your greatest champion or your greatest enemy. Nobody else has or can have that grasp upon you. You only can love yourself best, completely, at every moment of your life. That's not to say you won't get upset, angry, disappointed at yourself. But underneath everything you know you have is the love and understanding for yourself.

There's an EDM song (Klass ft. Ruiz) that goes like this "The world falling down, down, down, but I feel only love". This happens when you source love from you, from the Universe, from God. Whatever you believe in, basically...from anywhere and everywhere. At any moment, it's right there, it's unlimited if you open your eyes and your heart to it. That's when you realize you can give it to anyone else without depleting yourself, without losing yourself in them.

There is no shame, no pity to be had here. When I realized this, it gave me the greatest freedom to be me, to like me, to accept me, to love me. And it turn, it gave me the ability and capacity to be there for others, to care and love them. You cannot be what you want to be, unless you are that for yourself. You cannot live life waiting, wanting someone to notice and love you, to see yourself reflected in their words, and be dependent on them. When or if that ends, you come crashing down, unsure of whether you were all the things you heard and craved to hear.

I have an extreme appreciation and enjoyment from being in my own company. I know it's unusual and contrary to what we are taught or how we are raised. But what we were taught and accepting this truth are not diametrically opposed. Occasionally, I will feel sad and alone, but then you ground yourself again and you re-equilibriate. You still have family, acquaintances, very close friends, you enjoy their company and presence and you are there for them when they need you.

We can have both worlds. And when we do, it's the absolute best of both worlds.
 
SweetLesGirl said:
Nobody is better than somebody else we are just all blessed differently...
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I disagree. I get the feeling you are very young. I mean no offense, but that's an overly positive and naive viewpoint.

Yes, there are people better than others. No doubt. Read the news and ypu'll have real world examples of people rotten to the core. See some people on this forum, and yes, you can see their integrity is shoddy, their character is paltry. If I went to the market and had to choose between a shoddy, wormy apple and a good apple. The latter is clearly better than the former.
 
Slopps said:
There was a time where I used to chat a lot more. I wasn't feeling well and it was an escape for me to meet strangers who could fill a part of the void I felt, even if it was only for a moment.
A few of those women ended ghosting me after mor for less intense episodes. As much as it surprised me, I never felt anger for disappointment. I'm pretty much sure they did the right thing.
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That's because they are pussies. Just because something is intense, just because there are strong feelings involved, doesn't give anyone the right to ghost someone else, to leave a wake of bad feelings in their life, to disrespect them.

In life, there are easy paths and harder paths. Easy pathways take require minimal effort, avoid confrontation, decline communication, refuse to take responsibility. Harder paths are courageous, take getting through fears and doubts to get to the other side, putting in the time and effort to communicate. To honor what had been, what was and is.

No one has the right to impact someone's life that negatively. All of us who have been ghosted, we remember and then we get cautious. The next person pays for the previous person's bad behavior. We shouldn't have to.

I was majorly ghosted a long time ago here. That person stopped talking to me, no reason apparent to me, appeared a year later to say he stopped talking to me because he had developed deep feelings. I laughed my ass off. You don't do something like this if you care about someone. It becomes easy to smell the bullshit after things like this though. Silver lining.
 
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Thalassa said:
I disagree. I get the feeling you are very young. I mean no offense, but that's an overly positive and naive viewpoint.

Yes, there are people better than others. No doubt. Read the news and ypu'll have real world examples of people rotten to the core. See some people on this forum, and yes, you can see their integrity is shoddy, their character is paltry. If I went to the market and had to choose between a shoddy, wormy apple and a good apple. The latter is clearly better than the former.
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Oo I do agree with you it was say with a reason ;)
 
Thalassa said:
That's because they are pussies. Just because something is intense, just because there are strong feelings involved, doesn't give anyone the right to ghost someone else, to leave a wake of bad feelings in their life, to disrespect them.

In life, there are easy paths and harder paths. Easy pathways take require minimal effort, avoid confrontation, decline communication, refuse to take responsibility. Harder paths are courageous, take getting through fears and doubts to get to the other side, putting in the time and effort to communicate. To honor what had been, what was and is.

No one has the right to impact someone's life that negatively. All of us who have been ghosted, we remember and then we get cautious. The next person pays for the previous person's bad behavior. We shouldn't have to.

I was majorly ghosted a long time ago here. That person stopped talking to me, no reason apparent to me, appeared a year later to say he stopped talking to me because he had developed deep feelings. I laughed my ass off. You don't do something like this if you care about someone. It becomes easy to smell the bullshit after things like this though. Silver lining.
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I'm not fully disagreeing with you. Yes, they chose an "easy path" , but not everybody is strong enough to walk the tough one. I never made any false promise nor lied, but left too much room for false hope. I wasn't strong enough to deal with some my real life issues and "used" those women to escape from them. Not exactly the "right" path either, right?

I believe it was good for both of us that it ended. I think I learned from it.
 
Slopps said:
I'm not fully disagreeing with you. Yes, they chose an "easy path" , but not everybody is strong enough to walk the tough one. I never made any false promise nor lied, but left too much room for false hope. I wasn't strong enough to deal with some my real life issues and "used" those women to escape from them. Not exactly the "right" path either, right?

I believe it was good for both of us that it ended. I think I learned from it.
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I see your perspective. Good point. Reality vs. Escape.
 
Fallenangellexi said:
Does it hurt more of less when you cry alone?
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The answer is different for each person. From your replies, sounds like it works better for you to cry with someone. If it helps you hurt less, having someone empathize and share your sorrow and pain, do what works for you. Cherish your friends who are there for you. Ask them to get you a year supply of tissues too.

For other people, it is easier and better to cry alone. I would much rather cry alone. No one needs to see or know. It's really not anyone else's problem but mine. Plus, you can sob unabashedly like a kid whose lolli was eaten by the neighbor's dog AND you can snot all over the place as much as you want!
 
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