That's not something I have experienced but I have known people in similar situations. All I can say is I hope things work out the best for you.Repressing my orientation this long, I can feel something in me on the verge of snapping. To anyone who has been closeted longer than I have been, my condolences that you have had to live this way, but also in a twisted way, kudos to you for your tremendous perseverance.
Why do I do this to myself when there's not really a need to do so? Maybe this is an avenue I can explore in therapy.