I wish I didn't feel so separate from people around me. I have mates whom I treasure every day with, but in my heart I still sometimes wish that I'd succeeded in k1lln meself. The hospital was hard and I don't ever want to go back, but I don't want to hurt all the time either. But I take things day by day; laugh as much as I can, truly care about others and try to rekindle hope for meself. I will only ever admit this on a fucking chat site on the internet.