Thoughts Post your little thoughts.

SweetLesGirl said:
When we live in the spirit of gratitude, there will be much happiness in our life. The one who is grateful is the one who has much happiness while the one who is ungrateful will not be able to have happiness ... Thich Nhat Hanh

I really have a big admiration for Thich Nhat Hanh. He has broadened my horizons so that I can see beyond just the here and now. I have in the past allowed people to get stuck on me and drain my energy. Until I realized it was killing me from within. I learned that being kind to others does not mean they can own or abuse you to feel good. That kindness or encouragement does not mean you should ignore your own mental health. I also learned that not everyone needs to know where I am applying the encouragement and kindness. Sometimes one does it where everyone can see but overall I prefer it that my left hand does not know what my right hand is doing. I let myself be guided by my feelings. One lesson I learned is that people are going to expect you to be perfect. When you talk about positive things and kindness then they expect perfection and if you do not do as they expect of you then they dismiss it as not genuine. Thich Nhat Hanh taught me that others' expectations of me are not important because I am human I can also disappoint. He learned me to listen to the voice in me and to act accordingly. He also taught me that I can not help people who do not really want to be helped but who just want to drain your energy in the hope of finding inner peace and happiness. But when you set boundaries they simply move on to where they get what they are looking for and not what they need. No one can provide you with inner peace and happiness only you and you alone can find it in you.
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For me, it was Dr. Wayne Dyer in my early years and Thich Nhat Hanh in my later years and still to date. I wouldn't be who I am now if it weren't for their teachings.
 
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The day when we stop analyzing and categorizing others and paying attention to your own improvement and growth many things will change in and around you ... shift your focus from others' mistakes and shortcomings and shift them to yourself and ask yourself what can I do to, to be a better person than yesterday.
 
Stand still and think about how heavy the lables you hang on others will feel if you hang them around your own neck ... have you ever thought that the labels you hang on others are the projection of how you see yourself . Maybe because that very labels hangs so heavily around your neck you are trying to move it on to someone else so you can feel a little lighter and better. But do you really feel lighter or better ??
 
superdude97 said:
This is not a little thought, this is a ramble. It was almost a spiral. Based on what I posted in the confessions chatroom, but more refined.

For quite a number of years, I carried so much hatred and anger in my heart, towards others and myself, and I'm still working on letting go of the rest of it that remains. It's no longer as broadly-aimed as it used to be but some of it still very much remains. I used to be straight-up bigoted as hell (and I mean that in multiple senses of the term). Looking back, I ask myself, "SD, what the FUCK was wrong with you?" Sadly, I can't go back and stop myself from getting that way.

The people I considered worthy of hatred shifted like a goalpost. It took a while for me to realize I shouldn't simply change who I hated. I needed to change the fact that I was hating people for stupid reasons in the first place. I missed out on making connections with people because of my dislike towards some aspect of them, or personal insecurities of mine, I couldn't shake. But in the end, that's my cross to bear.

I'll be 25 this week, and I realize I have PLENTY of time in this life to do right by other people and myself, but that requires doing the work to foster healthy interpersonal relationships with other people, and a healthy sense of self. To expect them to come from nowhere is an exercise in futility.

And reading this all out, I'm clearly trying to alleviate a guilty conscience. What about all the people I avoided or hated because I was too stuck up my own ass? I hope they're well. Nay, I hope they're thriving, in spite of all the craziness this world has been delivering by the boatload.

Um, TL;DR: I acted in pretty shitty ways and only years after the fact am I feeling remorse. What the fuck. And to top it off, this is clearly a conscience-clearing exercise. I also need therapy because so much of this is personal.
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One of my favorite phrases is, to be bitter and not forgive someone is to drink poison and expect the other person to die.

Often, people behave badly because something bad happened to them and they did not heal from it. They stayed on a place of anger and bitterness. One of the biggest mistakes in judgment, relationally, is to think you cannot forgive because the other person does not deserve it. That is a critical error, because the truth is that you deserve it. You deserve to be able to let things go and love unhindered, to not be angry so much. That is for you, not them.

My brother is a bigot. He had a couple of really bad things happen to him he never healed from and let it become part of who he is. That is so sad for him.

He could relate to your words and maybe see light at the end of an angry tunnel if he looked honestly at himself as you have.

It is healthy to fight those demons. You deserve better. Kudos to you for fighting that fight.
 
I am as patriotic as the next person, if not more so. I love my country, it has been good to me. As a student of military history, I pay all due respect an honor to those who have served my country in uniform, particularly to those who gave their life for my country.

But, as a voracious reader of history, I am aware that my country has not always been as good to others as it has been to me. I am not surprised, then, that some may not feel as patriotic as I do. Should I not have empathy for those who have had a different experience?

If, in my tribulations, I wish for people to have empathy for me, should I not have empathy for others? What I desire for myself should I not grant unto others?

If all I can do is respond in anger and demand that others feel the same as I and act accordingly, should I not get over myself and recognize that I am no better than anyone else?
 
It's amazing how cruel people can be, never pausing to leave room for empathy for the possible private struggles that are unknown and unsaid. We don't know what we don't know. We know only what we can see and hear. We can't know of the private pain and struggles others are experiencing.
 
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