Thoughts Post your little thoughts.

I don't understand the point of lying... especially on here of all places. Like, why? What do you gain out of it?...
Chances are low you're ever going to even meet the other person face to face so fuck it, why lie? Just be yourself and honest. It's a lot better than being caught in a lie... online. :rolleyes:
I try not to take this place too seriously, but nothing irritates me more than being lied to. I just don't understand the damn point, really I don't..
 
Brunette_ said:
I don't understand the point of lying... especially on here of all places. Like, why? What do you gain out of it?...
Chances are low you're ever going to even meet the other person face to face so fuck it, why lie? Just be yourself and honest. It's a lot better than being caught in a lie... online. :rolleyes:
I try not to take this place too seriously, but nothing irritates me more than being lied to. I just don't understand the damn point, really I don't..
Click to expand...
Along with the liars are the hypocrites. I dont understand them either.
 
Last place I worked had 8 foot fences with spikes on top, ornamental, but also effective.
One morning there are 2 kids, 10-12 yr Olds in the fenced off area, taking the glass bottles for recycling.
I yelled out "oi!"
First kid drops it and runs to the fence, second kid was stunned stupid.
So he's scaling this fence like a spider, gets his leg over the top and slips.
The spike went into his thigh about 2 inches, 5cms.
He didn't make a sound, just looked over at me and went glassy eyed.
I supported his other leg while he pulled his thigh off the metal tip. Then he jumped out and limped off.
No tears, no words.
The second kid was still standing there looking at me with a look of shock and terror. I took him in through the shop, asked if he wanted to call someone. He said no, and I said he could go.
He ran off so fast and I never saw either kid again.

Made me wonder what happened to the first kid for him to suppress his obvious pain and not scream or cry....
 
Brunette_ said:
I don't understand the point of lying... especially on here of all places. Like, why? What do you gain out of it?...
Chances are low you're ever going to even meet the other person face to face so fuck it, why lie? Just be yourself and honest. It's a lot better than being caught in a lie... online. :rolleyes:
I try not to take this place too seriously, but nothing irritates me more than being lied to. I just don't understand the damn point, really I don't..
Click to expand...
Bennettrose said:
Along with the liars are the hypocrites. I dont understand them either.
Click to expand...

Don't forget the pretenders and wannabes along with the downright assholes
 
I need advice.
16yrold son has gf. She claims her parents are abusive. The parents claim she is compulsive liar. She is scared, or a good actor.
Legally she is an adult and can make her own decisions, however, are we getting involved when we shouldn't be?
Should I send her home.
 
Snap75 said:
I need advice.
16yrold son has gf. She claims her parents are abusive. The parents claim she is compulsive liar. She is scared, or a good actor.
Legally she is an adult and can make her own decisions, however, are we getting involved when we shouldn't be?
Should I send her home.
Click to expand...
I have no advice all I know is that at 16 we dont know much about life even if we have at that time think we did so i guess you will have to go with your gut filling and do what you think is best for your kiddo ... i send positive vibes to you Snap
 
Snap75 said:
Last place I worked had 8 foot fences with spikes on top, ornamental, but also effective.
One morning there are 2 kids, 10-12 yr Olds in the fenced off area, taking the glass bottles for recycling.
I yelled out "oi!"
First kid drops it and runs to the fence, second kid was stunned stupid.
So he's scaling this fence like a spider, gets his leg over the top and slips.
The spike went into his thigh about 2 inches, 5cms.
He didn't make a sound, just looked over at me and went glassy eyed.
I supported his other leg while he pulled his thigh off the metal tip. Then he jumped out and limped off.
No tears, no words.
The second kid was still standing there looking at me with a look of shock and terror. I took him in through the shop, asked if he wanted to call someone. He said no, and I said he could go.
He ran off so fast and I never saw either kid again.

Made me wonder what happened to the first kid for him to suppress his obvious pain and not scream or cry....
Click to expand...
I can't even imagine that. Children don't deserve to go through a childhood that breaks them so much.

Snap75 said:
I need advice.
16yrold son has gf. She claims her parents are abusive. The parents claim she is compulsive liar. She is scared, or a good actor.
Legally she is an adult and can make her own decisions, however, are we getting involved when we shouldn't be?
Should I send her home.
Click to expand...

Get the school counselor's input. I assume they would know about how she is / behaves. It's not foolproof, as the counselor may actually not know much.

Depending on what actions you end up taking, it could be risky for you to get involved and even open you to a lawsuit, if she isn't emancipated. As far as I know, unless a child is emancipated, they are still responsible for the kid until 18 or 21, depending on the state you are in.

Whatever actions you take, do them with the above in mind.
 
Snap75 said:
I need advice.
16yrold son has gf. She claims her parents are abusive. The parents claim she is compulsive liar. She is scared, or a good actor.
Legally she is an adult and can make her own decisions, however, are we getting involved when we shouldn't be?
Should I send her home.
Click to expand...
What does your son think about this? He should know her enough to have an idea about whether she is lying or not...unless she has narcissistic traits which make lying effortless for her.

Ask her for examples of how they are abusive and events that have occurred, to the extent that she can share, in case they really are abusive. If she claims physical abuse, are there any signs of that on the non-intimate parts of her body? If she is sexually intimate with your son, ask him if he has seen any bruises, scars, cuts, etc. Has she been in therapy?

Keep an unbiased / neutral perspective when talking to her parents. Ask them for examples of her lies. You should explain your conundrum to them and make it clear that you only have her best interest in mind.

Ask her if she has confided about this to anyone else, and if yes, what was the outcome of that. If it is anyone you know, find out from them if she is telling the truth and what resulted out of her confiding to that person. Again, take it with a grain of salt, since that person would profess taking actions that make them look good, instead of being honest should they have not dealt with the situation appropriately.

If you keep her at your home, I believe you could legally be charged of kidnapping - but I am not sure about that, it depends on your state.
 
Snap75 said:
I need advice.
16yrold son has gf. She claims her parents are abusive. The parents claim she is compulsive liar. She is scared, or a good actor.
Legally she is an adult and can make her own decisions, however, are we getting involved when we shouldn't be?
Should I send her home.
Click to expand...
I agree that the school counselor is a good route. It's a tough call because if you don't do something and come to find out it's true it could cause you a lot of guilt and remorse. I don't think it's our jobs to be investigators, although do your due diligence to determine the probability, then make a call. Child abuse is serious. I have known too many people, including myself, that have turned a blind eye to it. It alters so many aspects of a kid's life that you can sometimes never get back.
 
Thankyou for some perspective.
I hadn't thought of school counselors. I think that is a very smart choice.
The parents know she's here, we've had one call from the mother telling me to bring her home, in her particular way (trailer trash). I lost my temper and hung up on her.
I appreciate the replies.

Edit. I heard how the father talked to her, making her feel stupid for this and blaming her for that.
The mother was just rough to me, but we have her child, so I can understand that.
 
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