Thoughts Post your little thoughts.

SweetLesGirl said:
It might be a long little thought ....

In the 5 years I've been on FCN I unexpectedly lost 3 friends who lived in other parts of the world. Two due to none covid related illness and one due to Covid. The loss was bad which was worse, was the wait for them to either reappear or that somehow miraculously news about them reaches you so you can get closure about why they just simply no longer respond one day. I was happy to hear that all three of them had died from other contacts.

It made me realize that one can develop beautiful friendships over a distance. However, it also made me realize that I do not want to be involved on line on such a personal level anymore because, it's already bad when you lose friends or family in your real life but, it's worse for me to lose people online and not knowing what have happen to them.

That's also why I'm no longer talking to people away from here or starting new conversations with people away from FCN other than the ones I'd already talked to before the loss of the three friends.

After recent events, I also decided not to send an inbox first so there can be no expectations for more than just being friendly and or something more. Because it is a very human behavior to have expectations that sometimes lead to disappointment I decided to stop it so there is no harm or hurt even though it is not my fault that people have more hope or expectation than what I am willing to give.

I would rather say an honest and decent no than give someone false hope not only for sexual or romantic expectations but also deeper friendship expectations. That way, people know where they stand with me. The couple I do talk to on a more personal level understand me well enough to know there should be no expectations.

I enjoy the banter and chatting in main where everyone is and find that it works much better for me online. I empathize with many but for my own mental health I reserve the right to decide how deeply I get involved or not.
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Whoa. It takes guts and maturity to reach such a conclusion, life rules etc. I personally think that's admirable, even if we never talked properly.
 
SweetLesGirl said:
It might be a long little thought ....

In the 5 years I've been on FCN I unexpectedly lost 3 friends who lived in other parts of the world. Two due to none covid related illness and one due to Covid. The loss was bad which was worse, was the wait for them to either reappear or that somehow miraculously news about them reaches you so you can get closure about why they just simply no longer respond one day. I was happy to hear that all three of them had died from other contacts.

It made me realize that one can develop beautiful friendships over a distance. However, it also made me realize that I do not want to be involved on line on such a personal level anymore because, it's already bad when you lose friends or family in your real life but, it's worse for me to lose people online and not knowing what have happen to them.

That's also why I'm no longer talking to people away from here or starting new conversations with people away from FCN other than the ones I'd already talked to before the loss of the three friends.

After recent events, I also decided not to send an inbox first so there can be no expectations for more than just being friendly and or something more. Because it is a very human behavior to have expectations that sometimes lead to disappointment I decided to stop it so there is no harm or hurt even though it is not my fault that people have more hope or expectation than what I am willing to give.

I would rather say an honest and decent no than give someone false hope not only for sexual or romantic expectations but also deeper friendship expectations. That way, people know where they stand with me. The couple I do talk to on a more personal level understand me well enough to know there should be no expectations.

I enjoy the banter and chatting in main where everyone is and find that it works much better for me online. I empathize with many but for my own mental health I reserve the right to decide how deeply I get involved or not.
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I don't know you well either, but huge kudos to you for this, really. It takes a lot of will power, strength and maturity to have this mindset.
I wish I did, but I get attached too easily sometimes admittedly and just like interacting with certain people. It's a problem I am currently working on fixing.
 
Brunette_ said:
I don't know you well either, but huge kudos to you for this, really. It takes a lot of will power, strength and maturity to have this mindset.
I wish I did, but I get attached too easily sometimes admittedly and just like interacting with certain people. It's a problem I am currently working on fixing.
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Hurting people is the last thing I want to do even if I do so unknown because of they expectations is still something I do not want. People deserve the right to know where they stand with you deserve to know how far you are willing to go in terms of sex/support/romance/friendships is not nice to hurt people even if its not on purpose or my doing but they own. So I feel is better to be clear on my view opinion and boundaries also my limits. It affect me to see all the suffering but I do have to remember that I can't safe the whole world and everybody in it. I can give advice I can say what works for me but somewhere we need to found that healthy cut off line of how much is too much and enough.

I hope that you found that balance too eventualy chin up and do your best that the most important that you do your best and try to remember your mental health is the most important. Xx
 
I rather think the glass is half full than half empty.. so in FCN terms I just want to give a thumbs up to all the males who like posts of other males. It doesn’t matter if you are straight, bisexual or gay.. it shows you appreciate people and for that you can count yourself for being a respectful person!

I won’t mention the men that are brave enough to be that way, they know! ❤️
 
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SweetLesGirl said:
Hurting people is the last thing I want to do even if I do so unknown because of they expectations is still something I do not want. People deserve the right to know where they stand with you deserve to know how far you are willing to go in terms of sex/support/romance/friendships is not nice to hurt people even if its not on purpose or my doing but they own. So I feel is better to be clear on my view opinion and boundaries also my limits. It affect me to see all the suffering but I do have to remember that I can't safe the whole world and everybody in it. I can give advice I can say what works for me but somewhere we need to found that healthy cut off line of how much is too much and enough.

I hope that you found that balance too eventualy chin up and do your best that the most important that you do your best and try to remember your mental health is the most important. Xx
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There were two girls I really liked in high school. The first I really fell for, but I never really knew how she felt about me. Sometimes she was very nice to me, but at other times she was cold and distant. I did a lot of dumb things, in part at least because I never knew where I stood with her. The second girl, when I asked her out, said she only wanted to be friends. While I didn't like hearing that, and it hurt more in the short term, I at least knew where I stood with her, and we continued to be good friends. The lesson here is that we should be honest with people, we should give it to them straight up so they know where they stand.
 
Me (and many others.. like half, if not most of society) post pictures on social media.

At the end of the day though, we are not happy with ourselves. We talk down to ourselves, blame our bodies, etc. Why is my smile not straight? My body thinner? The list is endless.

Social media is fake. Smiles are fake, and its not all happiness and rainbows. You are only seeing a small portion of someones life, yet we feel the need to compare ourselves to them out of impulse. The sad thing is, we will keep doing these things. Every day if we must, even though it makes us feel no better. The feeling of posting a picture that you feel good in, then coming back to it to just see yourself as un-pretty... is such an unforgettable, brutal feeling.

If you're struggling with this, I want you to remember something: Your body/yourself is no less than anyone else. Everyone is an individual, we're all different, and at the end of the day, the only person you need to feel good about is yourself. Wear that bikini, or even that hairstyle you've been feeling self-conscious about. You are your own person for a reason! No matter how "confident" someone may seem, we haven't seen the backside of the curtain just yet.
 
Corsair48 said:
There were two girls I really liked in high school. The first I really fell for, but I never really knew how she felt about me. Sometimes she was very nice to me, but at other times she was cold and distant. I did a lot of dumb things, in part at least because I never knew where I stood with her. The second girl, when I asked her out, said she only wanted to be friends. While I didn't like hearing that, and it hurt more in the short term, I at least knew where I stood with her, and we continued to be good friends. The lesson here is that we should be honest with people, we should give it to them straight up so they know where they stand.
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There you go the first have left you indark that with your expectation have do you more harm than good ... the second one have been honest the honesty hurts but you got over it fast and stay a friend because 1. She was honest 2. You know where you stand 3. Knowing where you stand have help you to beable to stay a friend. Thats why I say rather hurt with honesty than playing mind games or let people believe there is hope.
 
SubSoph said:
Me (and many others.. like half, if not most of society) post pictures on social media.

At the end of the day though, we are not happy with ourselves. We talk down to ourselves, blame our bodies, etc. Why is my smile not straight? My body thinner? The list is endless.

Social media is fake. Smiles are fake, and its not all happiness and rainbows. You are only seeing a small portion of someones life, yet we feel the need to compare ourselves to them out of impulse. The sad thing is, we will keep doing these things. Every day if we must, even though it makes us feel no better. The feeling of posting a picture that you feel good in, then coming back to it to just see yourself as un-pretty... is such an unforgettable, brutal feeling.

If you're struggling with this, I want you to remember something: Your body/yourself is no less than anyone else. Everyone is an individual, we're all different, and at the end of the day, the only person you need to feel good about is yourself. Wear that bikini, or even that hairstyle you've been feeling self-conscious about. You are your own person for a reason! No matter how "confident" someone may seem, we haven't seen the backside of the curtain just yet.
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❤️❤️❤️
 
♫♫My booty don't jiggle, jiggle it's firm ♫♫
and no it isn't little little for sure
makes you wanna whistle, whistle ya know
♫♫ it looks just like a peach you really have to see it ♫♫
 
Well, as some may know my account bugged out late Thursday night early Friday morning. I lost access in the middle of a conversation, all my posts got removed and it left someone I really care for in a bit of a panic (@Hervy your concern moved me very deeply and made me realise how much I would miss you).
Thankfully @Stanthropical managed to frankenstein my bugged account on to the ghost account I made so I could let everyone know I was OK.
I lost every single post I had made, several threads I created, countless messages I had saved holding many memories and some very meaningful quotes I had kept on my info page.

But... as I was saying to @Peony8317 earlier, I can make new post, create new threads, save new memories. I can't make, create or anything the group of friends I have here. The ones I thought I would never be able to chat to again (Yes I know... but I wasn't really thinking clearly) so I am just glad to be able to be here again.

And of course... because my old posts have gone... REPOST :cool:
 
I have a question for everyone. What would you do if this person was your friend and all she did was lie to you, and cause you drama? Would you forgive her? I forgive, and forget easily but she crossed the line. In other cases I would but all this person was fake, lie, cause , and drama etc. I have a hard time trusting people from my past but I easily forgive if I like you but she gets underneath my skin bc of the hatred I have towards her. Am I doing the right thing? I think I am bc what she did to is beyond cruel. I am done with people treating me like shit and hurting me.
 
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