Funny Predictive Text

Don't tell anyone about the fact that you are a member of the cult and that your cult has been brainwashed into believing that the government will do anything to protect your family from your evil and corrupt cult

Right now, I'm just a slither
 
Right now, I’m just a slither of the internet for a while and then I’ll be back to my usual routine for another month or more

Tickle my fancy with your…
 
Tickle my fancy with your new book by the author and I will be sharing it with my students in a little while to make them happy

when I say jump…
 
When I say jump in the car and get ready for work I’m talking to my boss about the phone call that he has right now.

Hold your tits, we’re going
 
Hold your tits, we’re going to be on this ride for a while…better yet, I’ll hold them for you.

Holy shit! What the hell happened to…
 
Holy shit! What the hell happened to the car seat in your driveway when we got there yesterday morning

Jump on me, but not before you
 
Jump on me, but not before you go down the road to get me a new car for my birthday party

every time you..
 
every time you make love with your wife it is bad you said with sincerity I was just thinking the same as you.

His face
 
His face is so cute I can’t stop staring at him like that it’s insane how much I adore him

how about you…
 
How about you stop being so rude when I ask for your help on the phone or something because I'm trying to figure out why you're not responding to the messages

I've been doing this for years, so
 
I've been doing this for years, so can you please let me add you to my list of things to eat and then bring some snacks for me and my couch

Whatever you do, don't ever.....
 
So the other day, I pulled down my pants and took the first step forward to be with you and feel like doing something for the next couple of weeks


My personal voyage to hot
 
My personal voyage to hot tub of the dark side of the moon is a mistake and doesn't look like this is going to happen again

I've never had so many....
 
I've never had so many problems with my hair before but it's definitely worth the effort for a professional stylist who knows exactly how much hair to cut off

After a long deliberation with myself regarding your
 
After a long deliberation with myself regarding your hands and chocolate biscuits please don't worry about it lol I know you have a knee injury and chocolate cake is better than just shorts on my face

When I'm alone, I think about you covered in....
 
When I'm alone, I think about covered in blood for hours on end because it's just so much more to be said about it o.O

I'm no Elmo, but if you tickle me,
 
Did you just say the same thing about the last two weeks that you were in Florida with your mom


I can do 25
 
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