Funny Predictive Text

This cold weather will always open my mouth and the fuse has broken down the door

For Christmas I'm getting you
 
Swindle me and you'll find out what it feels like to have the living sh*t beat out of you, just for it to be put back in and beat out again...the size of the swindle depends on how many times the beating reoccurs.

I wish my hands were in your...
 
I wish my hands were in your mouth so that you could hear me sing to my ears while you are asleep in your arms

Unveil
 
Unveil on your lap with a smile or something else like that ugly one you like

You have something stuck
 
I wish I never told you that much space was a total waste your precious time with letting me know so fucking not much

On the twelfth day of Christmas santa gave to me
 
I will need at least seven more days of sleep for this week because I'm going back on the eighth of July to get the rest of the stuff done

Your hand is as
 
Your hand is as long as your leg and that is good thing because you don't have any more eggs left

Twenty seven thousand, eight hundred and sixty three.....
 
Twenty seven thousand, eight hundred and sixty three is the most random number I can think of, but in all reality when you equate it to the cost of gas in gallons, it would cost roughly $83,589, and that amount of fuel in my truck would get me about 334,356 miles, and at which point I would have to replace the engine to the tune of an additional $10,000. What a ripoff!

Dang...edit to add text start:

I love it when I am forced to...
 
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Free speech is not freedom of expression but a right to free speech is a right to be respected and protected by society

Sponge cake tastes like…
 
Sponge cake tastes like cake but with chocolate chip frosting on the bottom of each cheesecake and the icing on top of each frosting looks like cake frosting and the frosting

I'm about to
 
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