Funny Predictive Text

I’m about to leave the house now so if you’re around just come over whenever you want to talk to me about the stuff that you have in your garage

Pigs in blankets…
 
Pigs in blankets are not allowed in my house anymore because they have been on my property since they moved out of the state and they don't like to eat anything that is on their porch

You're responsible for my
 
You're responsible for my bright and likable personality, all because you were just being your bratty self.

If I were a...
 
If I were a message to you and yours would you please give me a chance to say what I have learned from this experience.

Epiphany has always....
 
Epiphany has always been based on religion, but it has turned into the stark realization of something that is actually quite simple...ex: "I just had an epiphany..."

My leg just cramped when I...
 
My leg just cramped when I woke up this morning so I'm gonna try and sleep tonight but it's gonna take some getting used to

You have my permission to
 
You have my permission to do whatever you want with the day, but I can't bail you out of jail.

Dammit, my butt just...
 
Dammit, my butt just got a new one from the same guy who was in my house for the past two years but he has no clue how to fix the leak

I looked under my tree and found…
 
I looked under my tree and found that cock ring I lost a few days ago, and just as I was about to pick it up, my Grandmother said, "there's my hair tie, will you be a doll and pick it up for me?"

I should have been better protected...
 
I should have been better protected from the world than I was before the pandemic but now I’m just being lazy about my life because I can’t afford to go back to the gym because of the virus

Tickle me under…
 
Tickle me under your skin baby I'm gonna get you something to do with your body and your mind and my heart and your soul and everything that comes with me and you and your body and everything else that you want to say to my soul that you're going through

When I look at your shoes, I
 
When I look at your shoes, I think about how many people need to stop wearing Converse and Vans knock-offs

Excuse me, is that wet spot....
 
It's not a merry Christmas until we are naked on a bearskin rug in front of a crackling fireplace.

I will always enjoy the feeling...
 
I will always enjoy the feeling of a gentleman touch

Does winter always feel….
 
Does winter always feel free from general public opinion of a good night Babe or two people who are in need

Laugh, and the world
 
Last time I unbuttoned a few things with my ex the other side in my panties but I'm kinda worried that the first thing I want is the last time you trolled me

Isn't it wonderful that
 
Once upon a time, there was an old lady who would take the train and ride it around town with her husband and her two daughters to see the stars and the moon in the night sky

Do you remember when
 
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