Funny Predictive Text

Take the old off, but don't worry if you're short of advances or making it harder than a plump of tropical disease

If you call me I'll
 
I've not had one since Saturday night but I'm going to have one tomorrow night for sure

When life throws coffee and ginger at you, make
 
When life throws coffee and ginger at you, make sure you don't have a massive heart attack and fall asleep on your face when you stop being a proper lady

It's the end of the world as we know it and.....
 
It's the end of the world as we know it and I don't know what else we can do about it because it's so hard to find someone who wants me to be there for them


I can't stop
 
Six giant bags of ice and some water and some food for you and your family to eat in your car for the rest of your life and then you will be able to go to sleep in your own car for the rest of your lives

Oh, Stan, take me
 
You are the kindest person ever and you deserve all the happiness you can have for yourself because you're so beautiful and you are the sweetest person I know

You can sleep in my lap, but
 
You can sleep in my lap, but you don’t need to sleep on my side of the bed to get me to sleep on your lap

Blue bananas are the…
 
They were only available for one day and they had no idea what they were getting into until the last minute of their trip

If I were a vampire and you were a werewolf, we would absolutely
 
If I were a vampire and you were a werewolf, we would absolutely be best friends we would cuddle and eat chocolate together but alas I don't have any sort of silver balls so I guess you're stuck with me

But what
 
But what about the fact that you don't have any money to spend on your own home and your own car or your own business and you're just not paying enough attention to your taxes

Now that you've shaved off my eyebrows, shave my
 
Now that you’ve shaved off my eyebrows, shave my face off with some cream and apply a layer of oil to your skin before applying the same product to my skin

The first person I’d call in an emergency is…
 
The first person I’d call in an emergency is Marie Colvin she’s an American a correspondent for The Sunday Times famous for her fearless reporting in the middle of the grimmest of wars

Colvin was
 
Colvin was a very talented and very smart man who had an incredible ability to get people to believe in his vision of what he wanted to accomplish with his life

My neck is your hands, but your
 
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