Funny Predictive Text

Over the last couple of months my home has been host to a lot of friends with benefits and a smack on my ass crack so I'm using anger to help soothe my brain

I'll scratch your back if you
 
I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine I know a tough girl when I see one we were both ready to hit the road.

Both out of money and desperately in need of a hot meal and
 
Both out of money and desperately in need of a hot meal and I'm not sure what you're talking about here but if you want me to bring the stuff to your place you can just leave that stuff there for the night

I was in the car wash stall, when I
 
Both out of money and desperately in need of a hot meal and some fresh air to take care of my body but I’m still hungry so I’ll try to make a little snack before you get here if that’s okay with you guys love you guys have a nice day love you guys bye see you soon bye love dad and dad and uncle and aunt Joe is coming

edit: I was in the car wash stall, when I saw this tweet and thought of you and your beautiful face as well as your gorgeous body and your lovely body as always xx xxxx xxxxx xx xxxx xxxxx

Who the fuck is aunt Joe and why is she coming…
 
Who the fuck is aunt Joe and why is she coming to my house and if she came alone why did she have to bring me that day I had an appointment with my therapist

I was a nervous wreck and my
 
Who the fuck is aunt Joe and why is she coming to my birthday dinner with you and your sister tonight at seven thirty

I was a nervous wreck and my head hurts so much right now and it's just not working out for my brain to handle it

My predictive text is full of drivel because I
 
I was a nervous wreck and my heart sank when you told me that you’re going back to the hospital tomorrow

My predictive text is full of drivel because I don’t know what I want and I’m just trying to figure it all out but it’s just a little bit more complicated than I thought it would be

The name I’m thinking of is…
 
Bridger thought back to his mornings with his wife and daughter and asked for the money to pay for the funeral expenses for the two of the two of them

Sometimes text hits too close to home and it’s notable…
 
Sometimes text hits too close to home and it’s notable that “Car Guys Don’t Have Issues” falls into this category.

Many of the articles in this series have been about entertainment
 
Sometimes text hits too close to home and it's notable on your face with a woman who knows you better than that

Edit: Many of the articles in this series have been about entertainment purposes only but also the information contained within it forgotten more than you'll admit

If I had a dollar for everytime someone
 
If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me what my gender is and I'd tell them that they are my favorite color and then they'd tell me that they are mine lol

I shaved my crutch in the middle of the kitchen and
 
If I had a dollar for every time someone had asked but who is teaching her I'd have at least 10 dollars and be in a bank somewhere.

Edit:
I shaved my crutch in the middle of the kitchen and stabbed myself in the hand.

And if I had a dime
 
And if I had a dime I'd buy you some more of those things that you can use to make your own pizza sauce for your birthday party and you could make some more pizza for yourself if you like

This fucking sweater is pissing me off, so
 
The needles are not working so they need to get rid of them but they need a little extra space for them so they don’t fall apart or fall off the bed

How big ones foot is, is directly related to the size of ones…
 
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