Culinary Recipes

Stan's original chili (you won't find this anywhere else):

You'll need:


All diced/cut to your liking:
- 1 very large onion (or 2 small)
- 1 very large green bell pepper (capsicum) (or 2 small)
- 1 very large red bell pepper (or 2 small
- 1 very large yellow or orange bell pepper
- 3 stalks of celery
- 16oz (400-500g) white mushrooms (don't cut them too small)
- 1 small garlic head
- 2-3 green jalapeño peppers (gutted)
- 2-3 red jalapeño peppers (gutted)
If you include jalapeño guts, chili will be way too spicy. Adjust jalapeño amount accordingly to your spice tolerance/desire.
You can also use your favorite hot sauce instead of jalapeños.

- 1 (16oz/400-500g) can of black beans
- 1 can of kidney beans
- 1 can of pinto beans
- 48oz (about 1,500g) of canned, diced (large dice) tomatoes

- 1.5 - 2 lbs (750-1,000g) of ground beef

- 2 packets of chili seasoning, OR these spices:
- 1 tablespoon of chili powder
- 1 teaspoon of paprika
- 1 teaspoon of cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon of oregano
- 1/2 teaspoon of ground black pepper
- 1 teaspoon of dried parsley
- 1/2 teaspoon of dried basil
- Salt to taste
Adjust all spices to personal taste.

Preparation:

Heat up 2-3 tablespoons of your favorite vegetable oil in a massive pot, thrown in 1/3 of your diced onion and brown the opinions.

After onions have browned, toss in your ground beef and brown it.

After beef has browned, throw in your diced tomato JUICE ONLY, seasonings and let if heat until it's steaming, but not boiling.

After heating up, throw in your vegetables (minus the mushrooms) and 1-2 tablespoons of your favorite vegetable oil. You may have to use some liquids from canned beans if it's too dry.

Let simmer on low for 20 minutes.

After it's been simmering for 20-30 minutes (depending on how soft you want everything—SAMPLE IT), throw in your beans (drained, save the liquid, in case you need to bring up the moisture to your desired consistency), mushrooms and diced tomatoes. Let simmer on low for 20 minutes.

You'll need to gently mix everything every 5 minutes. GENTLY—you don't want to mash the beans and mushrooms.

Taste it as you're cooking—you may need to add more spices or salt, hot sauce or liquid.

This is a good time of the year to cool it off outside. A large pot will take a long time to cool off. The longer it stays uncooked, the less time it will last, so cool it off right away.

Eat it with diced green onions, cheddar and sour cream (or Greek yogurt) and your favorite bread. Or however you like.

Quantities can obviously be adjusted for a smaller yield. When I make this much, I eat it for at least a week and freeze some portions (but I live alone).

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doritos crusted chicken strips.jpg

Doritos Crusted Chicken Strips

cheese | eggs, chicken, doritos, main course

375 mL 1-½ cup small bag doritos; coarsely crsuhed
1 egg
30 mL 2 tbsp milk
2 chicken breast

* Preheat oven to 400°F
* Cut chicken into strips into about 1"
* Place dortitos in a ziplock bag and crush until you have 375 mL 1-½ cup of crushed dortilos, coarsely crushed
* In another small bowl beat together egg and milk
* Sip each strip in the egg mixture and then into the dortilos mixture
* Press the chips into the chicken making sure the whole strip is coated
* Place on a foil lined pan and lightly spray the tops of the chicken with cooking spray
* Bake 15 to 17 minutes or until cook through
* Serve with ranch or sour cream

http://www.spendwithpennies.com/doritos-crusted-chicken-strips/

Nutrition Facts Serving Size 137 g

Amount Per Serving Calories 206
Calories from Fat 82 | % Daily Value* | Total Fat 9.1g 14% | Saturated Fat 2.7g 13% | Cholesterol 158mg 53% | Sodium 113mg 5% | Potassium 292mg 8% | Total Carbohydrates 0.9g 0% |
Sugars 0.9g | Protein 28.3g | Vitamin A 3% | Vitamin C 0% | Calcium 17% | Iron 4% | Nutrition Grade B- |

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Notes: http://www.spendwithpennies.com/

Yield: 2 Servings
 
......32 years and I never once thought to use doritos on chicken. GENIUS.
Savoury crackers such as Shapes, Jatz (although I think these might be Aussie only) cheeze-its , saltines (only American crackers I know) are just as tasty when crushed and used as a coating on chicken
 
MarkyG's patented hot wings in 10 easy steps...

You will need:

some chickens
a bottle of rum
a sharp knife
spices and shit
cokes

1. First drink some rum and coke
2. Now put the toaster on, if you can hold your finger on the heating element for over 3 seconds you're good to go, if not repeat step 1
3. Chop off the wings of the chickens and throw the rest of it away, be careful not to use the really sharp knife, use a shitty old one as I find it gives a more authentic cut
4. Drink some more rum
5. Chuck some spices on the wings, in a bowl or something
6. Use the really sharp knife to chop up some cocaine and hoof that shit up like a boss
7. Look at the wings in the bowl, wonder what the fuck you're doing and drink some more rum
8. Throw that shit away, finish the rum and the cocaine, fight your neighbour because he doesn't appreciate pounding techno at 4am
9. Wipe the blood off your face with bits of chicken
10. Go to bed
 
That recipe is h af.

Also, who's brave enough to make my chili?
 
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Stan's tuna salad tacos:

You'll need:

- Flour tortillas (any size you prefer)
- Finely shredded lettuce of your choice
- Thinly sliced avocado
- Thinly sliced tomato of your choice
- Finely chopped green onion stalks
- Chopped cilantro
- Finely shopped green jalapeno (no seeds)
- Shredded Mozarella or Provolone (your preference)
- Lemon or lime (or juice)
- Ground black pepper
- Tuna salad of your choice

Directions (in this order):

Sprinkle preferred amount of cheese onto tortilla and microwave it until slightly melted (doesn't fall off tortilla when tilted).

Add a preferred amount of avocado slices on top of cheese.

Add preferred amount of tuna salad.

Add tomato slices.

Add jalapenoss.

Add cilantro.

Add green onion.

Add shredded lettuce.

Squeeze a preferred amount of lemon or lime (or juice) all over lettuce.

Sprinkle some black pepper.

Enjoy.

This is an excellent quick meal. Great for summer, or really, any time.
 
In case you have no tuna salad recipe, this is what I personally use:

- Sweet corn
- Sweet peas (added in the end, gently)
- Tuna in water (very well drained)
- Hard boiled eggs (diced, added in the end, gently)
- Mayonnaise
- Tiny bit of Dijon mustard
- Tiny bit of white vinegar
- Tiny bit of lemon juice
- Black pepper
- Sea salt
- Oregano
- Basil
- Sage
- Tiny bit of granulated garlic
 
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