Advice and Opinion Sex over the decades

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Thalassa

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Curious to know how your experience of sex has changed over the years / decades, specifically how it is different for you, from your 20s, to the decade you are in, (20s-90s).
(I'm old, so I really wanna know more about them older decades.)

Did it get better or worse? Or a little of both? How? With same or different partners?

As you aged, did you have new challenges (yours or theirs), e.g. menopause, changes in libido, changes in wetness / hardness, etc.? What did you do to solve said issues?

Things that you have discovered, that made it better?

Thanks.
 
Hmm, great thread that I kind of think made me wet just thinking about ;) so thanks?! Lol

Sex with the best partner (sexually, dirty/kinky, emotionally, supportive and all around fun) is what keeps my drive alive!

I got pregnant the 2nd time (ex) on an oops. This was a life altering event and scary at my age. I'm kinky but WTF pregnant! I mean how long will I worry about another kid in the mix? lmao Anyway, that dries up the libido for sure, until I met my mate (on here). Perfect package, I'm back in action with pictures and videos, roleplay and toys! Sex has been enhanced because of @Fildo66 I'm looking forward to that play and coffee in the AM, partner with the kids and dinner in the PM. Sky is the limit, People! Keep after life and it will send you little packages (or big ones). ;)
 
Sex had definitely changed over the years. Started out young dumb and chasing every girl in college. Thought I fell in love in med school. Met a cute sexy, fun and sexyually adventurous lady. We got married, I was in me residency and we got pregnant. Had a son, I finished school and took a big boy job. We moved and the wheels fell off. The sexy life died... I tried everything to get her interested. Wind up getting divorced and I am like a college guy again, only this time I have an income. Yea I was probably a man whore for a year, I even slept with my x brother in laws sister. I learned how much sex had changed since I had been single... women were so much more empowered, they know what they want and are not afraid to tell you. I think sex has gotten better with age and experience. You learn how to please your partner instead of pleasing yourself. This is how you find that sexual bliss of absolute mutual satisfaction.
 
I very much appreciate the responses. I am trying to gauge any upcoming challenges in my sex life, hence the basis of my question(s).

Since y'all are sharing, here's my input:
My sex experience is relatively limited considering the few partners and infrequent sex I have had, so my sex life has been tame by most people's standards.

As my body changes with age and as does his, I can see issues arising from our differences in libido, in arousal, etc. I am not entirely sure how to navigate it. That said, I am working on being at peace with having sex not be as important a thing to me.
 
Sex is actually an important part of your life. It is one of the simple basic needs of human needs pyramid. While desire and wants may change, it is still important to an adults physical and emotional health.
 
ThalassaBabe said:
I very much appreciate the responses. I am trying to gauge any upcoming challenges in my sex life, hence the basis of my question(s).

Since y'all are sharing, here's my input:
My sex experience is relatively limited considering the few partners and infrequent sex I have had, so my sex life has been tame by most people's standards.

As my body changes with age and as does his, I can see issues arising from our differences in libido, in arousal, etc. I am not entirely sure how to navigate it. That said, I am working on being at peace with having sex not be as important a thing to me.
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Does he play on FCN with you? That is arousing for me. Now if only we could be in the same house and play ;) hahaha
 
Hey cuz this is an X-rated site, I will put out there that stepping outside the box with added toys, like a strap on and ropes, swings, pain with respect, naughty roleplay actually acted out and of course the outfits...makes the sex go round. Anal for him, anal for me, sneaking and also public is where my head is at these days. Now if we could only get 5 kids to cooperate hahaha @Fildo66 get on that, k Mmwaa
 
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Heidiwil said:
Hey cuz this is an X-rated site, I will put out there that stepping outside the box with added toys, like a strap on and ropes, swings, pain with respect, naughty roleplay actually acted out and of course the outfits...makes the sex go round. Anal for him, anal for me, sneaking and also public is where my head is at these days. Now if we could only get 5 kids to cooperate hahaha @Fildo66 get on that, k Mmwaa
Click to expand...
You lost me after the phrase “made me wet just thinking about it” in your first post @Heidiwil. Pretty sure I blacked out and came to on when you said “@Fildo66 get on that k”. Hell I was thinking damn, my baby is wet and telling me to get on it? (Are you wearing the strapon around again?) :)
I will say that there is so much in what you said babe that is so, so true. As for myself, I think the 20s me didn’t care about sexual creativity or adventure. I just wanted to party and have sex. I honestly did not think about what would enhance hers or my experience by trying new things or in a risky place. I just wanted to get my cock wet and when and where it happened didn’t matter.
Then my 30s brought three kids and I thought of swearing off sex altogether because sometimes that’s what kids will do early on. As I entered into my 40s I am not entirely sure I am that condfident kid in the bedroom anymore but I have way more things that I am into in terms of personal pleasure and hers. Some things I kept to myself for years until I met @Heidiwil. She is so sexually amazing and open to try anything that she has been amazing. Our relationship had really been a trip into new sexual territory I think for both of us.
We have made numerous videos for each other to keep us close which is something I never would have ever envisioning myself doing. Setting up the video and knowing it is for her gets me going. We have only scratched the surface on what we can do together the few times we have met. But if those few encounters are any indication then I believe her and I are going to have some of the best sexual experiences in our lives in our late 30s (her) and mid 40s (me ... my profile is 10 years off). I find things like anal pleasure done on her and performed on me such a thrilling experience and I was/am totally comfortable with her telling her that. Our chats are full of sexual fantasy in places, in positions and with toys and we hope to act on them all some day.
I will say I thought I was really heading towards sexual inactivity and just a loss of desire for it in my 40s! I still had m arousals and desires but didn’t have the person to share them with so my interest in sex kind of tapered off (which was my fault). Then I met @Heidiwil on here and everything changed in that moment. I truly believe the best and most rewarding sex in my life is coming with her and I am confient she feels the same.
(Shit ... sorry I got a little long-winded there. Hahaha)
 
Fildo66 said:
You lost me after the phrase “made me wet just thinking about it” in your first post @Heidiwil. Pretty sure I blacked out and came to on when you said “@Fildo66 get on that k”. Hell I was thinking damn, my baby is wet and telling me to get on it? (Are you wearing the strapon around again?) :)
I will say that there is so much in what you said babe that is so, so true. As for myself, I think the 20s me didn’t care about sexual creativity or adventure. I just wanted to party and have sex. I honestly did not think about what would enhance hers or my experience by trying new things or in a risky place. I just wanted to get my cock wet and when and where it happened didn’t matter.
Then my 30s brought three kids and I thought of swearing off sex altogether because sometimes that’s what kids will do early on. As I entered into my 40s I am not entirely sure I am that condfident kid in the bedroom anymore but I have way more things that I am into in terms of personal pleasure and hers. Some things I kept to myself for years until I met @Heidiwil. She is so sexually amazing and open to try anything that she has been amazing. Our relationship had really been a trip into new sexual territory I think for both of us.
We have made numerous videos for each other to keep us close which is something I never would have ever envisioning myself doing. Setting up the video and knowing it is for her gets me going. We have only scratched the surface on what we can do together the few times we have met. But if those few encounters are any indication then I believe her and I are going to have some of the best sexual experiences in our lives in our late 30s (her) and mid 40s (me ... my profile is 10 years off). I find things like anal pleasure done on her and performed on me such a thrilling experience and I was/am totally comfortable with her telling her that. Our chats are full of sexual fantasy in places, in positions and with toys and we hope to act on them all some day.
I will say I thought I was really heading towards sexual inactivity and just a loss of desire for it in my 40s! I still had m arousals and desires but didn’t have the person to share them with so my interest in sex kind of tapered off (which was my fault). Then I met @Heidiwil on here and everything changed in that moment. I truly believe the best and most rewarding sex in my life is coming with her and I am confient she feels the same.
(Shit ... sorry I got a little long-winded there. Hahaha)
Click to expand...

Not at all long winded! These are the kind of answers I am looking for, in terms of detail.

And lol @ the wet comment all through to the end!
 
20’s: sex was urgent, passionate,playful, adventurous, exciting. My wife and I started dating in early 20’s and married at 25. We were free. Life was all about just the two of us and we reveled in each other and in pleasing each other. Sex was almost daily and often multiple times in a day.
By the time we were 29 we were ready for kids and trying to get pregnant was the best sex ever. Pregnant sex was awesome.

30’s: having kids is the most wonderful thing in world but it changed our sexual relationship. Frequency started to decrease, because opportunity decreased. Before kids, we would get home from work and fuck because we could. With kids around it’s not an option. Sex became planned. Still good but limited to the bedroom, and hardly ever spontaneous. Still with great orgasms. No more experimentation because it became more about the orgasm. We followed guidance of making sure we had date nights and scheduling sex but, sometimes life got in the way.

40’s: our 40’s sucked for sex. Kids were getting older so it became important to my wife to be discreet and that meant that the situation had to be perfect to have sex, which it almost never was. Fregency took a nose dive. Sometimes sex was just about “it’s been so long, I need some release”. That meant that she would just go through the motions. That, in turn, meant that she started to lose her orgasm. I would try but she at times she discouraged me and before you knew it her orgasms were few and far between. Sometimes if it was long between, we would settle for a handjob.

50’s: menopause hit like a monster. Given our lack of frequency, menopause added dryness as a problem and sex became painful which meant it was even less frequent.

Good news is that now our kids are out of the house and the empty nest has given us the opportunity to try to find ourselves again.

We aren’t totally there yet, but it’s a work in progress and something that we are working on together. She is still very dry so lube is a must. We experiment to try to find positions and thrusting rhythms that are not painful. I’ve even brought her close to orgasm recently but we are not quite there yet. I don’t have the staying power that I used to and I often cum pretty quickly. Probably too many years of jerking off and handjobs but I’m improving lately.

Now at 53, We have found that adding more naked back rubs and cuddling is more important than actual penetration.

Hopefully the progress continues and the 50’s turn out to be fabulous.
 
whybother123 said:
20’s: sex was urgent, passionate,playful, adventurous, exciting. My wife and I started dating in early 20’s and married at 25. We were free. Life was all about just the two of us and we reveled in each other and in pleasing each other. Sex was almost daily and often multiple times in a day.
By the time we were 29 we were ready for kids and trying to get pregnant was the best sex ever. Pregnant sex was awesome.

30’s: having kids is the most wonderful thing in world but it changed our sexual relationship. Frequency started to decrease, because opportunity decreased. Before kids, we would get home from work and fuck because we could. With kids around it’s not an option. Sex became planned. Still good but limited to the bedroom, and hardly ever spontaneous. Still with great orgasms. No more experimentation because it became more about the orgasm. We followed guidance of making sure we had date nights and scheduling sex but, sometimes life got in the way.

40’s: our 40’s sucked for sex. Kids were getting older so it became important to my wife to be discreet and that meant that the situation had to be perfect to have sex, which it almost never was. Fregency took a nose dive. Sometimes sex was just about “it’s been so long, I need some release”. That meant that she would just go through the motions. That, in turn, meant that she started to lose her orgasm. I would try but she at times she discouraged me and before you knew it her orgasms were few and far between. Sometimes if it was long between, we would settle for a handjob.

50’s: menopause hit like a monster. Given our lack of frequency, menopause added dryness as a problem and sex became painful which meant it was even less frequent.

Good news is that now our kids are out of the house and the empty nest has given us the opportunity to try to find ourselves again.

We aren’t totally there yet, but it’s a work in progress and something that we are working on together. She is still very dry so lube is a must. We experiment to try to find positions and thrusting rhythms that are not painful. I’ve even brought her close to orgasm recently but we are not quite there yet. I don’t have the staying power that I used to and I often cum pretty quickly. Probably too many years of jerking off and handjobs but I’m improving lately.

Now at 53, We have found that adding more naked back rubs and cuddling is more important than actual penetration.

Hopefully the progress continues and the 50’s turn out to be fabulous.
Click to expand...

OMG. Thank you so much. Exactly the kind of blow-by-blow (no, no pun intended!) I wanted to hear! I appreciate that you have a multi-decade overview of your marriage. Thank you again :)
 
ThalassaBabe said:
I very much appreciate the responses. I am trying to gauge any upcoming challenges in my sex life, hence the basis of my question(s).

Since y'all are sharing, here's my input:
My sex experience is relatively limited considering the few partners and infrequent sex I have had, so my sex life has been tame by most people's standards.

As my body changes with age and as does his, I can see issues arising from our differences in libido, in arousal, etc. I am not entirely sure how to navigate it. That said, I am working on being at peace with having sex not be as important a thing to me.
Click to expand...
Even your “Tame” sex life is more exciting than mine
My wife is disabled and she is always in pain
We haven’t had proper sex now for 16+ years
 
Chubbychappie said:
Even your “Tame” sex life is more exciting than mine
My wife is disabled and she is always in pain
We haven’t had proper sex now for 16+ years
Click to expand...

I am really sorry to hear that. There's always worse and better it seems, right? I'm coming to see much better how and why there are so many relationships that do not work, and how people respond in the face of it. I have no answer or solution to provide to you. I can see that you are committed to her well being and care, more than your needs. For that, I congratulate you... At the same time, I wonder if I should.

At which point do we give up? At which point do we say, "no, sorry not you, but me, I'm going to make it about me this time, this one time"? I do not have the answer. Many of us are too soft hearted and too generous. Might be seen as cowardice or reluctance. It isn't though. And though we have our ideals, our dreams, our aspirations, we forfeit it all for what we perceive is the better course of action, for that someone else.
 
As we get older, life can get in the way of our sex life. Jobs and kids tend to be the focus. But sex is an important part of intimacy. Even is you have to set aside a certain day to have sex, make sure that you make time for each other When things seem to be in a slump, need to talk and communicate with your partner (happens to be one of my biggest flaws). I tend to want to make sure my partner is satisfied before me. I woman in pleasure is such a huge turn on. But there is nothing wrong with being a lil selfish at times. Take turns with "this is for me." Again, biggest thing is communication.
 
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