D
DancingRaven
Guest
"Hey. No. You're not allowed to do that," I said jokingly with a bit of edge to my voice as he moved around the back of the table. I watched him hesitate, the circlular ceramic coaster he had just grabbed for his mug of hot cocoa hanging loosely from his fingers as he looked back at me questioningly. I continued, "You're avoiding my question."
He grinned, showing those damned perfect teeth that get me every time, positioning the coaster on the wooden table and setting the mug down over it. "I don't know why we need to discuss anything," he responded casually. "I like the way things are now."
He looked back up at me, still standing as if asking permission to sit. I pulled out a chair, acknowledging his desire but hesitating to sit myself as he lowered himself down onto the seat. "I do too. But..." I thought for a moment, feeling awkward during the pause while trying to collect my thoughts. "If what you told Eric was true, then shouldn't we discuss it?" I was trying to allude to the conversation without saying anything outright.
But he wouldn't have it. "What did I tell him then?" he asked, his face turning serious. "What do we have to discuss?" He rose the mug to his lips and I swore I could see another smile pulling at the edge of his lips. Was he taunting me?
No, he was trying to be serious for my sake even though it felt silly. Of course it was silly. We had talked about this several times before. It's not like we ever planned for this to turn into something serious, for us to be.... "us." But his conversation with my best friend had changed everything, and here he was trying to make me reiterate what I had been told to clarify what had been shared in private company. He should have known anything he told Eric would come back to me.
He slurped his hot cocoa dramatically to fill the silence and I chuckled, releasing a bit of tension in my shoulders and allowing myself to sit down. I fiddled with the strap of my dulcitar case which still sat on the table from yesterday, keeping my hands busy.
"If I'm correct," I started, glancing up at him. He nodded for me to continue. "You told Eric that you could see us getting married." My heart suddenly started beating rapidly and those words left my mouth. Why did I feel so.... excited? Anxious? I wasn't sure what I was feeling exactly. Perhaps it was a mixture of both.
His smile never faltered as he lowered the mug back onto the coaster. He seemed calm and collected and yet I was struggling to get a read on him, despite how well I've known him even in our most intimate moments. "You know I've always said we'd be cute together," he commented matter-of-factly as if that was supposed to explain everything. I dropped the strap and began to run my fingernail across the edge of the wood where the table separates to add another leaf.
"Yeah but that was always, like, a joke," I pressed, starting to question whether I had read the situation wrong and he had truly meant nothing by it. But I needed clarification. "But marriage is different. That's a big deal." I tried to think of more to say to add weight to the situation but nothing came quickly to mind.
"Yeah it is a big deal," he answered, stretching his hand out in front of him and placing it palm down on the table as if he was reaching out to me. "If I actually wanted to get married right now don't you think I would have proposed?"
My heart beat faster. Every one of his answers left me with more questions. "To me?" I couldn't look up into his eyes, knowing he'd be looking back at me. I started flicking my fingernail across the edge of the wood. Back and forth, willing myself to think clearly.
He laughed loudly, startling me. "Who knows? All I can think about is you in that new lingerie."
I blushed. "The body stockings?" I asked, making conversation and happy to be changing subjects even for a moment. "You don't even know what they look like." I looked up to see him grinning back at me, showing his canines.
"I can only imagine," he growled. I couldn't help but grin back with a silly girlish smile, almost forgetting completely about what we had just been discussing. I shrugged it off. It must not have been as big of a deal as I made it out to be.
"Well finish your hot cocoa and maybe you won't have to imagine anymore," I said with a mischievous smile, getting up from the table.
It must have just been me letting my mind run wild again. Of course we've discussed this before. We know each other extremely well and have no reason to keep secrets. He would tell me if anything had changed between us.
Right?
He grinned, showing those damned perfect teeth that get me every time, positioning the coaster on the wooden table and setting the mug down over it. "I don't know why we need to discuss anything," he responded casually. "I like the way things are now."
He looked back up at me, still standing as if asking permission to sit. I pulled out a chair, acknowledging his desire but hesitating to sit myself as he lowered himself down onto the seat. "I do too. But..." I thought for a moment, feeling awkward during the pause while trying to collect my thoughts. "If what you told Eric was true, then shouldn't we discuss it?" I was trying to allude to the conversation without saying anything outright.
But he wouldn't have it. "What did I tell him then?" he asked, his face turning serious. "What do we have to discuss?" He rose the mug to his lips and I swore I could see another smile pulling at the edge of his lips. Was he taunting me?
No, he was trying to be serious for my sake even though it felt silly. Of course it was silly. We had talked about this several times before. It's not like we ever planned for this to turn into something serious, for us to be.... "us." But his conversation with my best friend had changed everything, and here he was trying to make me reiterate what I had been told to clarify what had been shared in private company. He should have known anything he told Eric would come back to me.
He slurped his hot cocoa dramatically to fill the silence and I chuckled, releasing a bit of tension in my shoulders and allowing myself to sit down. I fiddled with the strap of my dulcitar case which still sat on the table from yesterday, keeping my hands busy.
"If I'm correct," I started, glancing up at him. He nodded for me to continue. "You told Eric that you could see us getting married." My heart suddenly started beating rapidly and those words left my mouth. Why did I feel so.... excited? Anxious? I wasn't sure what I was feeling exactly. Perhaps it was a mixture of both.
His smile never faltered as he lowered the mug back onto the coaster. He seemed calm and collected and yet I was struggling to get a read on him, despite how well I've known him even in our most intimate moments. "You know I've always said we'd be cute together," he commented matter-of-factly as if that was supposed to explain everything. I dropped the strap and began to run my fingernail across the edge of the wood where the table separates to add another leaf.
"Yeah but that was always, like, a joke," I pressed, starting to question whether I had read the situation wrong and he had truly meant nothing by it. But I needed clarification. "But marriage is different. That's a big deal." I tried to think of more to say to add weight to the situation but nothing came quickly to mind.
"Yeah it is a big deal," he answered, stretching his hand out in front of him and placing it palm down on the table as if he was reaching out to me. "If I actually wanted to get married right now don't you think I would have proposed?"
My heart beat faster. Every one of his answers left me with more questions. "To me?" I couldn't look up into his eyes, knowing he'd be looking back at me. I started flicking my fingernail across the edge of the wood. Back and forth, willing myself to think clearly.
He laughed loudly, startling me. "Who knows? All I can think about is you in that new lingerie."
I blushed. "The body stockings?" I asked, making conversation and happy to be changing subjects even for a moment. "You don't even know what they look like." I looked up to see him grinning back at me, showing his canines.
"I can only imagine," he growled. I couldn't help but grin back with a silly girlish smile, almost forgetting completely about what we had just been discussing. I shrugged it off. It must not have been as big of a deal as I made it out to be.
"Well finish your hot cocoa and maybe you won't have to imagine anymore," I said with a mischievous smile, getting up from the table.
It must have just been me letting my mind run wild again. Of course we've discussed this before. We know each other extremely well and have no reason to keep secrets. He would tell me if anything had changed between us.
Right?
