Oh I forgot an important one. Them having a flirty nature
If someone is exclusive, that shit should be cut out.
Im not babysitting someone, out of worrying if their behavior is being appropriate
Huge turn off
If someone is exclusive, that shit should be cut out.
Im not babysitting someone, out of worrying if their behavior is being appropriate
Huge turn off
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SubSoph
Guest
So took me a while to think of something, then it finally came!
Do you support online relationships, or are they out of the question? This can go with friendships, too. I've met lots of people who do not support the idea of an online relationship, mostly because you don't know what the other person is doing behind their online life. I've met others who are in diverse relationships online, so my opinions value in the middle of both. Thoughts?
Do you support online relationships, or are they out of the question? This can go with friendships, too. I've met lots of people who do not support the idea of an online relationship, mostly because you don't know what the other person is doing behind their online life. I've met others who are in diverse relationships online, so my opinions value in the middle of both. Thoughts?
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Jinxy
Guest
I’ve made some great friendships online. Friends in other countries and states who I have visited and who have visited me here. That was in a different type of forum tho. I think FCN is a little different for me atleast. Most of the friendships I’ve made here are more just here and don’t involve the real world. But am sure that if both people have the same feeling and trust then it could work just as well.
It's not that I don't support online relationships, but they ultimately don't tend to work out and have different dynamics vs irl. I think that going on real dates/seeing the person, living with a person, spending time with a person/their friends is very different then being in an online relationship. They rarely seem to work out in the long run and there are different/specific issues compared to irl. It doesn't mean they don't work, but it's challenging and I don't personally see myself in one.
As for friendships I see this as completely different from dating online. I have met people from social media that I considered online friends that I've been online friends with for a long time. As well as I've added some people as online friends first and then eventually we've met up because we live in the same place. I feel like because i'm not trying to make intimacy work and it's casual and fun that I have no trouble seeing my online friends less frequently. Not to mention we have each other added on social media and it feels like i'm with them whenever they post something personal or we share a laugh over a meme and we comment on each other's things all the time.
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brunette29
Guest
I have some great friends online from all over that I would have never met if it weren't for this place. A few of which I am very close to and have talked to for a long long time and one of which I happen to consider my best friend despite being online and we have plans on meeting irl soon.
However beyond friendship is tough. I know from unfortunate experience it usually ends ugly and quite painful so it's just not something I personally do. I feel you need to be able to actually talk face to face with a person, touch them and physically be with them. That's really tough to do with online relationships because distance, time zones, work... etc.
BUT if other people can find happiness in it then more power to them.
I am completely for online friendships. I've met a few awesome people here and truly value their friendship. It is fun to interact with them, talk to them, vent, be open, and share things with them. I don't have a bunch of online friends, but the ones I do have I care for. There is an obvious difference between online friendship and the friendships you have with people you meet in person. Mainly with online friendships it is more casual, you aren't going out/getting together, and at times the contact with the other person is sporadic. With friendships made in person so to speak I'm probably going to get together in person with him/her at least from time to time. Depending on the friend we may stay in pretty close contact as well.
As to online relationships, it's just not for me. I realize it can work in certain instances, but I just don't believe it could ever work for me. There is just too much missing in an online relationship such as the actual physical contact/presence. Now some would ask would you ever consider an online relationship with the possibility of meeting the person. The answer for me is I highly doubt it. I realize it can work out, but the odds aren't good. I'm happy for those it has worked out for though!
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SubSoph
Guest
Qotd-
Are you a jealous person? If so, is there a specific thing you do to get your mind off of it, if possible? If you aren't, do you ever feel the need to be worried about your S/O?
Are you a jealous person? If so, is there a specific thing you do to get your mind off of it, if possible? If you aren't, do you ever feel the need to be worried about your S/O?
Not sure if I am actually a jealous person, but I am a person that has a lot of anxiety about potential situations not exactly jealousy. I used to be poly and any potential situations and partners I saw I would sit down and have extensive talks with all my partners and meet my partner's partners and have open honesty with. And if there was anything that bothered me or if there was something that I became uncomfortable with I would ask we sit down and talk together.
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CyberGuy69
Guest
I try not to be but i can often be pretty fiercely jealous, though i never show it.
It's usually either about people who are more successful than me or when girls that i have crushes on end up getting laid or getting into relationships with someone else.
As a pretty good example, still jealous of some random dude who have a one night stand with a friend crush of mine back in 2016.
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Thalassa
Guest
I used to be. Then as I thought about it, I realized that I'm fucking awesome - I did a mental inventory of my qualities in multiple domains. That quelled any potential occasions of jealousy.
I'm not worried. If it doesn’t work out, too bad. It doesn't make me 'less than'. I'll still be fucking awesome regardless.
I'm not being arrogant, just present to who I am. More women ought to do that, instead of belittling themselves vis-a-vis somebody else. You be your own fucking awesome.
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Thalassa
Guest
Talking about romantic relationships:
It rarely works. Online, people lie, cheat, manipulate. Few are real and truthful about themselves. Words are used to create an image of themselves, an image that makes them most appealing to whoever that are talking to.
How many 'online relationships' actually move into the 'real world'? A small small percentage. Let's be practical - A lot of people are already taken, in relationships, married, some with children, elderlyparents, debts, assets, established friend circles, and separated geographically, some by oceans. Making an online rel transition succesfully out into a workable, real one, takes the merging of ALL of that. It takes compromise, honesty, perseverance, a willingness to adapt and accept. Living with someone means coming face to face to the small things of daily living, that only used to be on a screen and by words. It means being there for the happy moments and the tough moments. Someone can say they are friendly, open and helpful. A daily life with them shows you that what you see those words as meaning and in action, simply does not match what they define their expression of those same words.
For some, online rels are companionship and mutual masturbation. There are feelings involved, to whatever degree they could be, a depth of intimacy attained, but either one or both people know that just won't make it IRL. Of my time here, I know of just 1 couple who moved in together, combined their families, children on both sides coming together, sharing their hardships with each other. There are probably others that are more private about it, I don't doubt it, but all in all, it is very rare.
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UnsaintedCali
Guest
I can be. It has to do more about my insecurity than it does anything else and it is informed by past experiences. Being told one thing then having the opposite be true from an early age has unfortunately, informed how I navigate through life. Not to say that it's an excuse for not seeing my full potential, which I am always working on. It's just difficult for me to believe the interest in me had to do with me and not just what I can give to them.
I used to always need reassurance until I realized I asked for it way too much and it often drove people away. So now I work really hard to trust what people say at face value and let them prove themselves with their actions, and just speak up more about how I'm feeling, rather than asking them to prove something.
So, the tl;dr I guess is yes, I can be sometimes, and it's not a good look. I know I'm a constant work in progress and I'm always trying to push myself forward as a result. This was probably more self reflection than what the questions asked for. As with everything though, context is important.
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Thalassa
Guest
I'm senstive in different meanings of the term.
1. Sensitive meaning emotional. Yes. I feel a lot and take things to heart. I have had to learn to identify the root of actionss, situations and comments. If it is someone close to me, what they do and say matter a lot to me. Others, much much less. A lot of times I don't just a fuck about what others say about or do to me. Doesn't mean I ignore it. I stop myself from being too affected by it. In those situations where someone is close to me (family, friends), I am very vulnerable. I have to talk myself out of big feelings and bring in rationality and calm.
2. Sensitive = noticing others' actions and needs, being helpful, acknowledging, supporting. I was raised in a household that lived and breathed being caring and being good to others. Seeing what the other person's was dealing with, putting myself in their shoes became natural and inevitable. While I am compassionate to most, I have had to learn to be selective and not take on more than is to my detriment.
Regarding your 2nd question, I do not understand what you are asking.
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Thalassa
Guest
I'd answer this but what @PoliteandNaughty wrote is pretty much my answer, especially the last trait / behavior.
Generally I am not a jealous person. I find jealousy to be an unattractive trait and, therefore, do my best not to be jealous. I certainly have been jealous at times in the past, but for the most part it those moments have been few and far between.
When I feel like I am getting jealous I take a step back in my mind and ask myself this question: What is causing me to feeling jealous or why am I feeling jealous? Is it a person, situation, someone getting attention when I feel like I should get it? If it is due to another person I tell myself they are no better than me and do my best to move on from the person. In a situation I do what I can to distance myself from the situation and remove myself from the situation. If it happens to be someone is getting attention when I feel like I should get it I take a deep breath, relax, and tell myself who the hell cares in the end? Let the other person get the attention, I am good with what I have.
In the end it does absolutely no one any good to be jealous, especially me.
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SubSoph
Guest
I feel this. Long-term jealousy is really common for some. In time we learn to get over it, but that will come. I get this!
Understood regarding the emotions. Thank you for sharing.
I don't quite know how else to phrase the second question. If your mind moves to the long-run of a certain situation and your emotions can get "in the way" of a specific outcome that is most desired, is it then hard to show the emotion at that point? I guess what I was trying to say was not made clear, and I still don't know if it is. Hope this helps.
I like your mindset here. It probably is better off to think of the specific situation and where that jealous emotion is coming from, than rather getting yourself worked up about it. It can still be hard getting past that point, though, but I liked how you phrased it! Thank you for sharing.
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SubSoph
Guest
Well this died fast.. lol.
If anyone is still there to answer- Is there a such thing as physically attraction without a mental connection? Why or why not?
If anyone is still there to answer- Is there a such thing as physically attraction without a mental connection? Why or why not?
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Gujjuguy
Guest
Good question, Soph
I feel like there is a thing such as Physical attraction. And I've experienced it ngl. But I've also found that it doesn't last long. The attraction fades away in sometime if it doesn't have the backing of mental connection.
Infact, I've experienced such an attraction more than the mental attraction till date. But, now as I mature I'm learning to keep my feelings to myself, assess them and see if they're genuine or not and also look at the mental compatibility. I want to know them better and see what they think about different things such as fitness, their habits, their passion, their work, their social behaviour etc.
This platform has also helped me in bringing these changes in me and look at things from different perspective (including hers) and I'm very grateful to everyone who's helped me knowingly or unknowingly.
Yes (even though as a demi sexual as I have no idea what this is like), because people have one-night stands all the time. I think this happens all the time but it's very short-lived. I don't think you can have a lasting connection/relationship based on physical attraction only. I can't feel attraction to someone and have it be meaningful unless I have a mental connection to someone first, however it doesn't stop me from thinking that someone looks attractive or cute or whatever. I think @Gujjuguy 's answer is a great answer. Yes I think people can be attractive, but I need a mental connection before I can start finding myself interested in them.
It's a sexuality called demisexual Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.
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SubSoph
Guest
Thank you, and thank you for the reply. Understood about it not lasting long! Totally understandable. I feel that mental attraction is important, but obviously, there are such things as one night stands, sex chat, etc. I'm glad FCN has helped! Good to know and see. Thanks for the detailed and great answer, Guj! Loved reading.Good question, Soph
I feel like there is a thing such as Physical attraction. And I've experienced it ngl. But I've also found that it doesn't last long. The attraction fades away in sometime if it doesn't have the backing of mental connection.
Infact, I've experienced such an attraction more than the mental attraction till date. But, now as I mature I'm learning to keep my feelings to myself, assess them and see if they're genuine or not and also look at the mental compatibility. I want to know them better and see what they think about different things such as fitness, their habits, their passion, their work, their social behaviour etc.
This platform has also helped me in bringing these changes in me and look at things from different perspective (including hers) and I'm very grateful to everyone who's helped me knowingly or unknowingly.
Short-lived is 500% understandable. I also feel mental attraction can be much stronger than physical.. and of course long-lasting. I am very familiar with demi-sexuality, and thank you for bringing it up! I, myself tend to have an interest in educating myself on that type of knowledge, including LGBTQ+ affirmations. Wow, getting off topic!
Thank you for including that and the explanation in your response. Really great to get your thoughts!
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