BDSM Sub needing advice.

[SilkyKitsune]

I love my husband dearly. I'd do anything he wanted, sexually that is, and made that clear from the get go. He makes me feel amazing and knows how to make me cum over and over again. He lasts plenty long enough and can just keep cumming and going over and over. It's great, but I feel selfish. I want more than that.

I've always been into kinky sex, even before I was having sex, I fantasized about bdsm. Being thrown down on the bed, pushed up against the wall, pinned to the ground. Feeling rough hands touch me everywhere, pulling my clothes aside and grabbing and my breasts and slapping my ass. Being tied up or chained down, gagged and blindfolded. Hearing orders be whispered into my ears... Ordering me to cum for him.

My husband was raised to respect women. And I've explained to him that dominating me in the bedroom has nothing to do with you respecting me or not. He told me before that this stuff excites him but makes him feel like hes being a terrible person all at the same time. I know he isn't lying to me. When he wraps his hands around my neck I can feel his cock get harder, and when I "struggle" or "resist" him he fucks me harder and deeper and moans. But that's about the limit of what hes willing to do on his own.

How can I make him feel more comfortable with dominating me? I love him and leaving isn't an option. But I end up masturbating every day because I feel a constant want for more.

I've been even trying to think of ways to get him slightly mad at me.. We've never had angry or makeup sex before because we don't fight..

I just want to feel like hes trying to punish me with his cock. I want a bit of pain, I want to feel like he owns me, to feel so out of control.

 

[JustSteve1984]

Might just take some time. Take baby steps as you guys fuck, making things rougher each time. Might help him feel more comfortable each time. I've never been with a woman who wanted it like you do, and I would be a little uncomfortable with the idea at first. Taking it step by step should help make it easier for him.

If you ever want to talk more, feel free to message me.

Good luck!

 

[SwitchYoung]

This is easy silky. Its basic behavior training.. You have to encourage and incentivize every time he gets rough on you. Like moaning more than usual when he gets rough. And telling him about how you "were in heaven" at a certain part of your play, whichever part you liked, in post play talks. And of course thank him for doing that and getting rough. This would slowly put an idea in his mind that he's doing it for your pleasure and since he's a nice guy, he probably acknowledges the fact that he's responsible for pleasuring you. So eventually he'll start doing the rough stuff regularly at which point moan for more... Try this and get back to me if it helps

 

[OutdoorEnthusiast]

Not sure this is being followed any longer but in my opinion....you either have it or you don't. Some guys just aren't going to be very dominant. Same goes for females. I've met plenty of females and they tell me they're submissive and they "can handle it" but then they can't. In my opinion, if it's in you, then it only takes a little bit to pull it out of you. You'll probably have to just decide what you can live with and what you can't, and make the best of whatever comes your way. But, it's possible he can come around. Just not likely, in my opinion.