Top Five

Send them dick pics
"Oh I'm sorry, I was talking to someone interesting, I missed your call/message/whatever"
"Wanna watch me take a shit?"
Only talk about something they're not interested in (anime, video games, movies, etc)
"I'm not feeling this, good luck!"

Top 5 creative uses for toilet paper
 
Make a bouquet of flowers for your girlfriend
Use it as your wallpaper
Make a dress out of them
Wrap your bosses car… TP it twice!
Go to the zoo and ask every animal if you may wipe their butt!

Top five foods that smell awful
 
Surströmming- fermented herring
That one (or many) food you cant stand the smell of when you're pregnant
Limburger cheese
Mustard tacos (my own creation)
Let me mix up a batch of something real quick, what do I have, ravioli....sardines....smoked oysters...ramen...yup, that should do it, add some ghost pepper in there, mmmmmm

Top 5 nicknames for people on here you use without them knowing
 
Scootching my chair over to someplace without getting out.
Wheeling my office chair around
pretending I'm an inchworm and moving across the floor
Walking
Teleportation, when it becomes available commercially

Top 5 colors for frog bucket hats
 
Being hugged when I needed it,
Being there for me when no one else wanted to (with the exception of family),
Actually following up with me the next day,
Listening,
Being yourself,

This is how my man seduced me.

Top 5 ways to tell your partner that you love them WITHOUT WORDS
 
Staring at my naked body wondering why I have all the ingrown hairs on my knees/butt....oh right pants
Figuring out how to not wear pants long enough to no longer have ingrown hairs
Thinking about setting up a facial recognition log in for my cat on my computer he constantly sits on
Masturbating
Remembering the 3 days when I was cool (they involved jumping out of an airplane, telling people I worked in video games, and math jokes....ok, 2 days)

Top 5 made up names for prehistoric animals (no using big teeth little arm giant lizard, thats mine)
 
*Do you want to breed?
*Are you one of those, you know, lesbians? (because i wasn’t interested in him).
*Do you want a dic pic? (like immediately after meeting him)
*Did you come? (because if you can’t tell then the answers no) lol
* Is mine the biggest you’ve ever had? (if you have to ask the answer is no) lol

Top 5 favorite pick up lines. you’ve used or heard?
 
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1. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven
2. Hey , wanna see my Corvette
3. You got legs like I love them. Feet on one end , ass on the other
4. Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my head all night
5. Want to f***?
Top 5 worst things you have been caught doing
 
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