Top Five

1. That guy who whistled at the breastfeeding mom and said "mmm baby I wish I was the one sucking hard on those sexy milky tits".

2. The chick who thought it would be funny to use whole milk, pudding and whole eggs to make cake. Bitch, that's a fuck load of fatty cake going straight for my ass.

3. That guy who said it was going to snow a bajillion inches when in fact the snowflakes floated down, looked at the town and said "nuh-uh" and they all spontaneously melted midway.

4. The person who honked when I was going 85mph, only to overtake me and then drive slower than me. Do you not know how overtaking works???

5. That Subway guy who didn't toast my sandwich and didn't put enough peppers even though I said the words "more", "please" and "thank you".

Five interesting ways to pay your landlord/ landlady
 
1. Monopoly money
2. Expired gift certificates from when I was kid
3. Coins I steal from the "leave a penny, take a penny jar"
4. Striptease
5. Jar full of sandwich pickles

Five things to not admit to during your first date
 
1 how many sex partners you have had
2 how sexually liberal you may or may not be
3 that you might not be completely over an ex gf or bf
4 how much you like to watch porn and how often you do lol
5 your kinks or fantasies

Lol

Top five things you did more of since the lock down from covid forced us all to stay at home alot alot more than we normally would have. (hobbies, pass times, playtimes) etc
 
1. Read
2. Take longer showers
3. Save money
4. Connect with more people on here
5. Order less take out

List the worst five smells
 
Husband leaving the bathroom
Kid leaving the bathroom lol
Texas air when all the farms around would start their fertilizing
Petting zoo
Spoiled milk


List 5 musicians, artists, actors you would love to meet
 
1. No idea
2. Not sure
3. A blonde girl
4. A blonde girl with big tits
5. A blonde girl with big tits and glasses.


Top 5 things you would do if you were invisible.
 
1. Whisper subliminal messages into the sleeping ears of my enemies friends, and family to make life more beneficial (mostly for myself).
2. Be naked just because.
3. Listen to all the fucked up convos people have behind closed doors laugh at them, and then bring it up during conversations so that they think it leaked somehow.
4. Watch @Flirtinghubby watch his favorite blonde girls
5. Haunt people for fun because everyone needs to laugh right?

Top 5 reasons I should not go to work this morning
 
1. Penises
2. The big thing supported by neck with the most orifices on our body.
3. Horsies
4. The worn down arm of that wide cushy sofa.
5. Train

Top 5 shoes
 
1) left
2)right
3) ones that aren't left or right
4) gumshoes
5) Hoka

Top 5 things to make your cat do when you're bored.
 
1. Sit on your crotch and keep it warm.
2. Chasing a laser and knocking shit over.
3. Dressing up in doll costumes.
4. Take pictures from a safe distance after dunking in water.
5. Making obstacle courses for them to get stuck in.

Ways to keep yourself awake after a night of close to no sleep.
 
1. Coffee overdose
2. Check calls and emails
3. Shower
4. Healthy breakfast
5. Coffee overdose again.

top 5 things to do on a day off
 
  1. Ocean
  2. Mountains
  3. Waterfalls
  4. Lots of sex
  5. Isolate and go on fcn
Ways to distract yourself from sex
 
1. Reading a book
2. Calling mother
3. Cleaning my house
4. No FCN
5. A jog.

Top 5 concerts you've been to
 
1 Sopranos
2 Breaking Bad
3 The Wire
4 Game of Thrones
5 Curb Your Enthusiasm

Top 5 sex toys that aren't dildos or vibrators.
 
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