Funny What The Actual Fuck??

Alien among humans lol shit over half the people I work with are illegal aliens it doesn’t seem bad at all lmfao


WYR eat a fresh pile of dog shit lol or have labor pains for a week straight
 
Labour pains for a week. There are always pain killers lol

WYR die happy full of drugs off your nut but have no idea what is going on
Or in pain but able to say all your goodbyes
 
Drugs.

Every day, Would you rather have to eat live rats at midnight to stay alive or eat white live doves at noon to stay alive?
 
Live doves at noon. Things always seem a little better in the light of day.

Would you rather have an audience of strangers watch you sleep every night and document all your weird sleepy habits, for science OR only ever be able to sleep from 12-4pm and 6-9am?
 
Audience of scientists.

Would you rather have horns growing on your head which you have to cut off every week, which takes 8hrs, unless you want them to grow to be 50 lbs by the end of second week, or forget literally everything about your life and people in your life once per year, every year, and you memory doesn't recover until the 1st day of the year, but only for one month?
 
I would employ someone to do the horn cutting. This way I can make this 8 hours my 'special time ' getting things done. Answering emails, reading or listening to books/audibooks, make some overdue calls... all the things that are building up in my inbox, answering machine, messenger e.t.c.


Would you rather have someone walking in front of you and loudly announce you, wherever you go or a always bad smelling belly button?
 
Smelly button. I don't remember the last time anyone scrutinized my belly button in that manner. It'll stink a little when sweaty anyway.

Would you rather have a third leg sticking out of your abdominal area or from the back of your head? Both long enough to reach the ground like your normal legs with full usability. Why?
 
Probably head. It won't effect how clothes fit and could come in handy if you were to trip over and have your hands full.

Would you rather have to punch yourself in the face or lick the nearest wall every time someone said your name?
 
Lick walls.

Would you rather have to cut your head off every night before sleep and it fully grows back every morning as if nothing happened IF you get at least six hours of sleep (otherwise it's half size and you can't grow it more with naps), because it starts essentially melting in the last third of the day, or have a permanently half sized head?
 

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