Banter Why Are They Single?

Remember hearing urban legends as a kid that either were passed down from generation to generation or created by neighborhood kids and passed around from kid to kid to scare other kids? Like any old tale of a goat man living in an abandoned home in the middle of nowhere or the old bachelor down the street who killed his whole family and anybody who comes to his door.
This guy is kind of one himself. Legend has it that his cock is so damn big, it scares the life out of his dates. I even heard of one, brave soul who thought she could take it and as he pushed it in, she literally split in half. Another woman thought she could suck his dick and could only get the tip in so she licked it like a 16” popsicle. When he was going to cum, she took the tip back in her mouth and his load shot out with such force ... that it killed her.
Now you may laugh at these stories and think they are the stupidest thing you ever heard. Do you dare take a chance and find out for yourself? He’s waiting ................and available ladies. Guys, don’t even try it. :)
 
I think because he loves to play his saxophone for husbands ladies on the first date. Which is fine. Every girl loves a good, smooth, slow sax player. Problem is the saxophone he plays is plastic and blows bubbles out of it. Hey ... at least the effort is there.
 
Remember that story as a kid about the Pied Piper leading the rats to their doom by playing his magic flute? That’s pretty much @Silver-Smile in her magic shorts. Except they’re not magic. They’re just plain sexy and guys (and girls) follow her wherever she leads them. I think she does it as a game now for her own satisfaction. Kind of like a conga line of drooling dudes with erections going to their demise.
 
Remember that story as a kid about the Pied Piper leading the rats to their doom by playing his magic flute? That’s pretty much @Silver-Smile in her magic shorts. Except they’re not magic. They’re just plain sexy and guys (and girls) follow her wherever she leads them. I think she does it as a game now for her own satisfaction. Kind of like a conga line of drooling dudes with erections going to their doom.
I dont know if I should be flattered or terrified. Lol

He's single cause he's too busy writing stories on sex chat forums.
 
I dont know if I should be flattered or terrified. Lol

He's single cause he's too busy writing stories on sex chat forums.
Well it is flattery for you but probably would look like a zombie apocolypse with the drooling guys. Lol. But it is meant as a true compliment to you. And you are single because you spend too much time reading my novels I lost. Lol.
 
Because he insists on telling his story first, which usually takes a solid 6 hours, or roughly 2 "dates", then on the third date he invites them to his place.
He answers the door naked, which most women actually enjoy, and takes them straight to the "cave of wonder"....
After that who knows...
 
Remember that old nursery rhyme that went something like this?
“There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it...”
That’s pretty much this guy. Although I don’t think that rhyme was in the Mother Goose version. Regardless, when you har that rhyme, you now have met the legend.
 
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If I was single, it probably would be because I drone on and on about nothing in particular like Forrest Gump talking about shrimp at the bus stop. If you have ever seen the movie “Jumanji: The Next Level” and remember the scene where Kevin Bart and The Rock are imitating Danny Devito and Danny Glover and the team finds out Hart is a Linquist? Not sure why about a question mark there since it was more of a statement but whatever. Anyways, The Rock says “He masters every language on his way to the point!” . That’s my dating life. Lol. Except I have Heidi so there is that
 
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Easy answer... Heidi ran off with me :eek:

Sorry couldn't resist lmao
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!? Because she enjoys stealing guys girls which is a huge turn on for her. I heard she even goes so far as to put their panties on her wall like a trophy or souvenir. I mean, if I was my girl and she walked into the room, I would leave with her. :p
 
You've been in my room?

seriously i laughed way too much at that.

Obviously single as he is way too nice for just one girl
Lol … I have been. It is one of those mythical places that us now single guys have only heard about. People said it didn’t exist but the whispers around the hall at FCN were there. I had to see it for myself. Plus, I had to let Heidi know we were waiting to have dinner. Lol. Total buzz kill but I was ready to shoot video. And she is way too sexy and bad ass for any one person as well. ;)
 
Always ready to rescue this one from the dungeons of forgotten threads. Because he has a fantastic lady who, on occasion, role plays that we are single so we can meet up.
 

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