Banter Why Are They Single?

Has no concept of time and refers to every top of the hour as "Ding-dong," based solely on a grandfather clock with a ding-dong at the top of each hour.
 
Shows up to every date dressed as a pirate. Not sure why. Just does. Then he proceeds to begin every date with, “Ay me lass. I’ve come to claim me booty”. Which usually leads to the lady pulling out her phone, looking at his Tinder profile, then up at him, then down at her phone, then up at him and ending with an eye roll and her leaving. He does make a damn good looking pirate though and it is entertaining as hell.
 
Greets every potential date with a long story of what he sees in her as a first impression, such as above, which almost always lead to the date running away. Those who don't run away cause him to run away for unknown reasons.
 
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