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I hate my messed up brain, sometimes I'm genuinely cute and sweet and other times I just want to put everyone to sleep, myself included. My bitterness and anger aren't things I like to joke with, they genuinely drive me crazy and make me want to blow my brains out
I tried to distract myself from the pain of knowing he doesn't want me around anymore with talking to other men but it doesn't work at all, I pretend I like it thinking I eventually will but I just feel worse and think things like "hmmm he wouldn't do that" or "he would respect this" he was the best owner EVER and I feel awful for being so fucking annoying
I don't care if you look at my body and can only think of me as a woman while knowing I'm not comfortable being one fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU. I hate gender and I hate people who want to make me be something I'm not
You will never truly know yourself the way others do. You will never hear your laughter the way someone else does, you will never see the way your absence lingers in a room you used to fill. To yourself you are just you, but in reality, you are a thousand different stories, none of which you will ever get to read.
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