"Forgive me farther for I have sinned, I shagged my bothers wife, and then murdered him with a shovel, before melting him down in a bath full of acid. I then sired children with her as 'every sperms is sacred' and I won't leave my current wife as divorce is a sin. Oh I also took a dump in my bothers acid bath and then fed his gooey remains to the pigeons at the park, while I watched their tiny stomachs melt away"
"Never mind my child, go home and say 3 hail Mary's, and you'll still get into heaven."
Catholicism ladies and gents.