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my QR code is a smiley face with a roller coaster in place of the smile
I would like to know just exactly how all the king's horses could have been any help whatsoever in putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. They don't even have thumbs.
when your phone autocorrects "autocorrect" to "autoerotic"
male praying mantis: "uh yeah we don't really call it la petite mort... it's kinda a la grande type situation"
Happy Super Beaver Moon 2025, however you and your loved ones choose to celebrate it.
practicing my Academy Award acceptance speech in the shower, in which I explain to the assembled how the screenplay idea came to me while practicing my Academy Award acceptance speech in the shower
yes, I would like to use my daylight-saved hour waiting for this page to load, please, thank you
would not survive long in nature, i can't resist a berry
You are a wonderful person. I love your pfp my sexy Friend. Your heart and mind belong here!
*smooches* to your Tease Day!
How in the actual hell do people stay awake in laundromats?
became an honorary druid today
There's something about your hand that I can't quite put a finger on. But worry not, I shall nail it quick and have no need to palm it off to to another. So knuckle down, no need for a cute tickle.
For some reason I have chicken on my mind, and a turkey on my head...
squirrels are used to waking up in trees; i still get barkprints on my cheek
aggressively sniff-testing melons in the produce department: the unabashed privilege of a man willing to wear a chef's hat in public
Happy Google "Is Today A Holiday" Day, everyone!
Hello my sweet Friend! Hope all is well. I smile when I see your posts.
forgetting where I hid the Halloween candy from myself, and stuffing Reese's pumpkins in Christmas stockings a couple months later
Wittgenstein: Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.
Wittgenstein's date (to server): Ffs he'll have the salad. -
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