a religion based on the eventual appearance of a benevolent turtle that can cure hiccups and is real good at math
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neighbors slightly miffed by the life-sized Lloyd Dobler alarm clock stationed outside my bedroom window
intensely deja vu'ing right now.
putting this down here in case I come back to this post and need a reminder that I already already wrote it.
if you invite me over to your house and there are candlesticks on your mantel, fair warning that I'll spend the whole night discreetly tipping the hell out of them trying to discover the hidden lair behind your fireplace
exchanging targeted ads on the first date as an act of radical intimacy
made prolonged eye contact with a squirrel and felt like a deep understanding passed between us or else my head is shaped like an acorn
I would rather read the Wikipedia article on "blinking" than compose this email
Sometimes a pile of leaves
uncontrollably sobbing while trying to describe Proust's madeleine to the McDonald's drive-thru attendant
A Chinese restaurant where the food is delicious but the fortune in every cookie is a disparaging remark about your poetry
In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man probably has a terrible haircut.
A telepathic alarm clock that uses my deepest insecurities to get me out of bed and simply sighs "typical" whenever I hit the snooze button
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he'll be all, "what the fuck is it with you and fish, dude? leave me alone."
A cake in the shape of
It seems like one can't escape the internet... even here.
One Battle After Another... processing...
You don't realize what a desert you've been in until the first droplet of rain lands on you
I remember sleep... vaguely
A boulder on top of a hill, glaring down at unsuspecting picnickers -
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